No, go right ahead, nee Bruce, ruin every sport I love

Leonardo DiCaprio flew 10,000 miles on a private jet from Paris to New York and back to pick up an environmentalist award. Leo also now the leading candidate for Hypocrite of the Year. 

The Taliban has replaced their leader, Mullah Mohammad Akhtar Mansour, who was killed by a drone. He is being replace by Mullah Ahheem Beehin Sohfukked.

The Kentucky Derby winner, Nyquist, has pulled out of the Belmont Stakes due to illness. Call my cynical, but I think Nyquist is fishing for a NyQuil deal.