The is supposed to be National Procrastination Week. But this week’s no good for me, let’s do it next week, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers. 

This rain is depressing. I’m more depressed than an actor who got turned down for the role of zombie on “The Walking Dead.” 

Former New York mayor, Mike Bloomberg, announced he will not run for president. Apparently you have to be four-feet tall to get on that ride. 

Sports announcer, Erin Andrews, awarded $55 mil. from Marriott for her naked peep-video lawsuit. After hearing this, Kim Kardashian released a naked selfie and sent Marriott a bill for $55 million. 

Tennis star, Maria Sharapova, announced she failed a drug test at the Australian Open. Remember, this is the Russian tennis star who is both hot and good. Not Anna Kournikova, she was the one who was hot and stunk. Unlike Anna Kournakova, Maria Sharapova has actually hit a ball in. 

Tennis star, Maria Sharapova, announced she failed a drug test at the Australian Open. Remember, this is the Russian tennis star who is both hot and good. Not Anna Kournikova, Kournikova was the hot one who tested positive for resting bitch face who never actually won a tennis game. 

Truth in advertising is going to force “The Walking Dead” to change their name to “Unemployed Actors Palooka.”

Since you asked:

Tennis star, Maria Sharapova, took full responsibility for her failed drug test so, on International Women’s Day, Nike dropped her. Too bad Sharapova did not dog fight, cheat on a spouse or sexually assault/rape women like Michael Vick, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant and Ben Roethlisburger, because Nike stood by all of them. 

When Caitlyn Jenner was unveiled and resplendent in a white gown accepting the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs, in the middle of her awkward speech, you could feel Hollywood’s support waning just through the sheer power of Jenner’s unfortunate personality. 

Now that Caitlyn has identified as republican and a supporter of gay-rights-opponent, Ted Cruz, her support from the Prius owning/limo and private jet riding Bernie Sanders-loving Hollywood crowd is running away from Jenner faster than she ever ran as Bruce Jenner. 

Years ago, my daughter was a fan of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” so I accidentally saw one episode where nee Bruce was teaching Kylie how to drive. (years before the Malibu crash turned that into a sick joke) There were two cameramen in the car filming the show. You knew this because they cut back and forth to two different angles in post. 

Nee Bruce spots a car with a photographer /paparazzi and Bruce flat-out up and done loses his freaking mind. Now all of a sudden he thinks he is Lady Di in a French tunnel and they are chasing him down. He speeds up and then pulls off to the side on a dirt field, jumps out of the car and starts screaming at the car’s driver. His already high voice is now two octaves higher. Glass was breaking. 

How does someone with two cameramen in his car filming a reality show not know what an incredible hypocrite he looked like yelling at someone taking his picture?