A study in “Current Biology” claims the male Howler monkeys that scream the loudest have the smallest testicles. This explains so much about Donald Trump.

Jeb Bush has been forced to reduce his staff and cut the costs of his campaign. In fact, if Bush cut back any further, he’d be a Brazilian.

Two of the Love Ranch prostitutes involved in the Lamar Odom incident, Ryder Cherrie and Monica Monroe, are on suspension. Which is fine with them, they need time to study for medical school midterms.

Mexico is bracing for a category 5 hurricane, Patricia, with winds over 200 mph. Hurricane Patricia is so scary, they are thinking of flying overhead and salting it with Midol. (Sexist joke not approved by a.L.B.b.)

Lincoln Chafee dropped out of the presidential race on Friday. It’s sad, even the comedians aren’t sorry he is dropping out. 

Chafee said; “I have been campaigning on a platform of prosperity through peace, but it is time to end my candidacy.” To which the man replied; “Fine, Sir, but what would you like to order here at Starbucks?”