Monday, July 20, 2015

The website for adulterers, Ashley Madison, has been hacked and the user’s information is being posted online. How many conversations tonight are going to begin;

“Honey, remember when I told you I lost my credit card? No? Well I did. Anyway, you won’t believe what they did with it.”

The website for adulterers, Ashley Madison, has been hacked and the user’s information is being posted online. Man, the news keeps getting worse for Bill Cosby, Donald Trump and Tiger Woods. 

The owner of the WNBA team, the Tulsa Shock, wants to move the team to Dallas. That is shocking. The WNBA still exists?

Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart promote "Electra Woman and Dyna Girl" at that thing for that deal that will show on something.

Here is a little piece I like to call:

Grace Helbig, What The Hell Are You On? 

Finding and following the success of comedians like Amy Schumer - as an extreme example, and Tig Notaro as a more normal example - is fun.

First I found Amy on “Funny or Die” the comedy video site started by Will Farrell and his buddy, director Adam McKay. They, Farrell and McKay, used their considerable Hollywood pull and contacts with movie stars to make comedy videos that went viral. Viral videos led to sponsors and then, badaboom, badabing, now “Funny or Die” is it’s own studio and it is producing movies.

Who knew?

One of those videos was “A Day in the Life of a Female Comedian” in 2011. It starred the then unknown outside of “Last Comic Standing” Amy Schumer. When I saw “ADITLOFC”  and Amy, I know she was going to make it big. Along with the other female comedians, Maria Bamford, Nikki Glaser and Jackie Moynahan. All have achieved good levels of success, just not the insane kind of success of Amy Schumer.

And, wow, did Amy make it big. Her stand up shows starting selling out. She appeared in TV shows like “Girls” “Louie” and others and then, boom, she gets her own show on Comedy Central “Inside Amy Schumer.” And because Amy is brilliant and funny, it exploded. Now she is in a movie she wrote, “Trainwreck” and she is a well-deserved and bona fide super star. Like Chris Pratt.

Good for them. Well deserved. And I understand it. 

Had the same feeling when I saw Grace Helbig on a “Funny or Die” video called “12 Signs Being Ladylike is Not Your Forte.” (see above video) It started on YouTube and got to “Funny or Die” and became viral. Grace is funny and great in it. And she is hot. So I thought, here we go, another Amy Schumer.

Sure enough, “The Grace Helbig” show debuts on “E” a year later. Not nearly as mainstream as “Inside Amy Schumer” much more artist-like, hip and techno and, well, geeky. Then I read it only had 200,000 viewers. That is not a lot. Near as I can tell, though, it is still on “E.” Here is my question: how?

Now I see that Grace is starring in a new show. A TV show? No. It is called “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.” It’s a remake of the Sid and Marty Krofft’s classic from the ‘70’s of the same name. Well if it is so damn classic, how come I have never heard of it ever? Grace described it as a combination of “Gilmore Girls” and Marvel Comics.

Does anyone, anywhere have any idea what the hell that means?

Grace and her co-star, Hannah Hart – never, ever heard of her - filmed it in Canada with a full film crew including acting coaches. They will both be at VidCon to promote it. Quick question: What the hell is VidCon? It sounds like a prescription for a urinary-tract infection. 

This reminds me of when I landed a well-paying comedy writing gig for a software company’s annual client presentation. When I saw the CEO’s Power Point presentation, I remember thinking if it had been in French, I would have understood a few words of it. No, it was in Techo-geek-speak and I did not understand any of it. Every word was a code-writer’s jargon or abbreviation for some computer industry term. That or they just made up names of stuff.

“Here is the Zetco 756 Mega transductor flux glamorfian. It is compatible with all Questalove Uba JO4fadork7568’s. Alex, will now write a joke about it. Alex?”  

(For some reason they never contacted me with another job)

The press release says “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl” will arrive later this year. On what? In movie theaters? On TV? On a channel? YouTube? “E”? They don’t say. Nobody is saying. (If it is on a podcast, I am going to hurt someone)

The whole thing is so damn on the cloud and podcast-y and blog-y and artistic and technical with lots of hipsters and hints of the LGBT community mixed in with vegans and people on gluten-free diets and something called the video community combined with actors who aren’t actors. There is a video community? Is it in Silver Lake with the rest of the hipsters?  Is it near the porn community? Because I understand the porn community.

This is like going to a restaurant that specializes in out-of-the-box molecular gastronomy technology. You are given wooden boxes filled with mist and frozen crap and crystals and ice dots and spider webs and paste and told to dig in.

Give me a goddamn movie, a cold beer and a cheeseburger right effing now. Take your food vapors and blogcasts and shove them right up your Via3com DuaHubastank 7Z EffU.

But I am crazy about Grace Helbig and I am sure she will be a big star.

On something.