This just in:

Three-time World Champion surfer, Mick Fanning, is OK after being attacked by a shark. Donald Trump calls Fanning a whimp for swimming away.


Today is National Ice Cream Day. Or as Chris Christie calls it: Sunday. 

"Donald Trump  said John McCain “is a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.” At this point calling Trump a douchebag is an insult to a perfectly good female hygiene product."

- Friend and Comedy Writer, Janice Hough

At the British Open, Tiger Woods missed the cut finishing 19 strokes off the lead. Tiger has had dates with Hooters waitresses that did not last 19 strokes.