Friday, May 02, 2014





Man, it was hot in LA. It was so hot, I was sweating like Donald Sterling at a Jay-Z concert.

Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like the guy at the airport getting his shoes shined while smoking a cigar?
Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like the guy who calls the steak house waitress Sugar?
Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like the guy who still calls pants either slacks or trousers?
Is it just me, or would anyone else bet Donald Sterling still has an avocado-green polyester leisure suit in his closet?
Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like he leaves his pinky ring on when getting a manicure? 

Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like the guy who licks his thumb before peeling of bills from his money clip?

Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like the guy who cleans his ear with his car key and then looks at it?
Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like a guy who says the word "crap" all the time? 
Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like a guy in the middle of a meeting who would take off his shoes and socks and rub his feet? 
Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like he spends all of his time on the phone with his feet on his desk? 
Is it just me or does Donald Sterling look like the kind of guy who judges a man by the crease in his slacks and the shine on his shoes?

Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like he loves to rattle the ice in his tumbler of scotch while constantly repeating the term "bottom line" in between shaking cocktail peanuts in his fist and popping them in his mouth? 

And finally (thank god)

Is it just me, or does Donald Sterling look like the always-naked guy in the gym locker room who spends an indordinate amount of time drying off his low-hanging fruit? 



Several days ago, Heisman Trophy winner, Jameis Winston, failed to pay for a late snack of crabs and crawfish. One has to wonder, what could make a college kid crave crabs and crawfish late at night and then forget to pay for it so soon after 4/20? Hmm.

One of the contenders in the Kentucky Derby is a horse called Danza. Which is nice, but I am putting my money on Stamos.