50 al Qaeda terrorists were killed in Yemen by a US drone two days after releasing a video that revealed their identities and their location. I believe their al Qaeda sect was called; ah-Sheesh Zayare Ehdiots.

A New York bakery is going to offer a low-calorie donut. Because if there is one thing all donut lovers have in common, it is the fanatic need to count calories.

The low-calorie donuts come in three styles: One, "Eh, it’s OK". Two, "Try dunking it in coffee", and Three, "You want the rest of this thing?"

Since you asked:

Thanks, Jared Leto, Bill Gates and Lady Gaga, for encouraging me to follow my dreams. 

But have you noticed how all the people who tell you to follow your dreams are rich and famous? You don't hear the guy from the 80's one hit metal band, Wrachetz, who has the dragon neck tattoo and is giving guitar lessons in Van Nuys out of his van telling us to follow our dreams.

Or how about the sweaty guy in the yellow school bus swatting flies off of his churro traveling to his Mexican Semi-pro basketball game? Is he going to tell me to follow my dreams?

Or the woman who wasn't called back for the porno "Ass Blasters" shot in the Encino Motel Six on plastic sheets who was told they want to go in a younger direction?

Speaking of depressing. How crazy is it out of the 335 division one basketball teams in the US, roughly over 5,000 damn good players, only about 30 will make an NBA team? 

Xavier Thames of San Diego State led his team to the sweet 16 and a close loss to Arizona, and he has, at best, a 50-50 shot at getting drafted. If he does get drafted in the second round, he has about a one-in-16 shot of making an NBA roster. 

Between foreign players and veterans who want to stick around, getting into the NBA is rough. 

And yet, despite these amazing, amazing, odds, the New York Knicks and the Los Angeles Lakers still suck.