Things You Might Hear on the Missing Malaysian Plane’s Black Box

“Gosh, Mr. Pilot, I’ve never given a lap dance in a cockpit before.”

“When I get confused sometimes I ask; What would Justin Bieber do?”

“Hey, I got a good idea, let’s buzz Vladimir Putin’s place.”

“Yo, flight attendant, who do I have to sleep with to get another vodka tonic?”

“I know what will wake us up, let’s play some Yanni.”

“Wait, what do you mean you’re really a male stripper dressed as a pilot? I’m a male stripper dressed as a pilot.”

“Kim Jong Un will give us how much for hijacking this thing?”

"You want to know how I know this is good stuff? I got it from Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford."

“Don’t worry, we have as much chance of crashing as Chris Brown does of getting arrested again.”

“You call that flying close to the water? I'll show you flying close to the water.”

And The last Thing You Might Hear on the Missing Malaysian Plane’s Black Box

"What does this button do?"