Saturday, June 15, 2013

“Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, this is a big one, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Kobe Bryant has dropped the lawsuit against his parents for trying to sell his memorabilia; dropping a lawsuit against his parents, what a sweet way to say Happy Father’s Day.

McDonalds is introducing late night breakfast items they call the “After Midnight Menu.” It is designed for really athletic people who want to carbo-load before a big workout the next day. Just kidding, it is totally for drunken booze-hounds.

Former Cincinnati Bengal receiver, Chad “Ocho-cinco” Johnson, was in court for a probation violation and his attorney worked out a no-jail deal with the judge, but then a celebrating Chad slapped his attorney’s butt, the judge got mad and threw out the deal. This was one of the stupidest crimes committed by a Cincinnati Bengal; which is like saying this was a bad hair day for Donald Trump.

Since you asked:

Got two phone calls back-to-back from old friends I haven’t heard from in a while; one not in a long, long while. Nice to know you made an impression on folks. Proud of my stable of friends. If a man can be judged by the quality of his friends, I am doing extremely well.

But, as we all know, a man is really judged by how many things he can do to entertain himself. Me? Yesterday I was playing four games of Words with Friends while watching “Conan” monologue while writing jokes and marinating a flat-iron steak while the grill was warming up and my iPod was rocking my outdoor speakers with Rolling Stones.

Then upstairs to the Man Cave for a marathon “Parks and Recreation” session and a few bouts of “Call of Duty: Black Ops” on the X-Box. 

Oh yeah, arrrrrrrr, arrrrrrr, arrrrrrrr. Tim Allen is still a reference, people.