Wally and his PooFro

We all know about the Afro. Some know about the JewFro. As Wally is half Poodle/Golden Retriever, he has a PooFro. 


This just in: 

"Deep Throat" porn star, Harry Reems, passed today at 65. He and co-star, Linda Lovelace, did not get along. Something about making that movie left a bad taste in her mouth. 


Convicted dog-fighter, Michael Vick, had to cancel his book tour after outrage from dog lovers spread. Vick’s autobiography is titled “Finally Free.” Much better than his first title; "Lassie Was a Bitch." 

“The Today Show” aired a clip of Los Angeles high school senior, Jake Davidson, asking “Sports Illustrated” Swimsuit cover model, Kate Upton, to his prom. We’re not sure if Kate will go, but Jake did receive a scholarship to Man, You’ve Got Big Balls University.

Since you asked:

That ass-munch, Jordan Schlanski, on "Conan"? He is snottier than a French Independent Film Maker. Snootier than a Vegan Literature Professor. Snitier than Wall Street Trader who collects antiques.

Snot, snoot, snit. Bitch needs to be bitch-slapped like a sloppy-assed, bitchy-bitch, biiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

How is it possible that the awesome and cool Deon Cole and uber-tool Jordan Schlanski exist in the same universe, let alone work for the same talk show? 

It is official, I am naming my nutrition and work out program:

 The 80/20 Program.

So much of life boils down to 80/20. If you want to look smart, just use the statistic 80/20. 80% of traffic violations comes from 20% of the drivers. Is that true? I have no idea, but it sounds true.

So I am applying the magical 80/20 formula to my nutrition and exercise program.

For diet, if you eat very healthy, just fruit, yogurt, vegetables and nuts 80% of the time, you can relax and eat sensibly 20%. So for me, from morning until 5 PM, it is smoothies, protein shakes, carrots, apples, grapes and yogurt. Dinner? Grill some fish, chicken and make a salad, and or rice or pasta. 

And 20% of the 20%, i.e., one night a week, you can go nuts. Burgers, juicy steak, shakes, sundae, pizza, burritos, whatever.

But we all have our things, or thangs. My thang? Red wine and or San Diego Sunsets, Mount Gay Rum, coconut water and lime. So that means I can have that 20% of my 20%, one night a week? Right?

Wrong, eff that ess right in the bee. I'll be lucky  if I cut it down to 70%. So that is my thang. 

Sure, there are some who might look askance at the fact I have a few more cocktails or wine than they do. To those I would ask: do you get in the ocean to surf a couple times a week? Are you eating like a near-vegan 80% of the time? Working out five times a week? Marinating and grilling your proteins? No? Oh, well then maybe shut your arrogant, smug pie-hole, you pompous, judgmental, hypocrite pile of steaming . . .

Sorry, that one got away from me at the end . . . 

Everyone gets one thang. Cheetos. Corn dogs. Pop corn. Peanuts. As long as it isn't smoking cigarettes, smoking meth or shooting heroin in your eyes.  

Exercise. If you exercise 80% of the week, you can rest 20%. So that means work out 5+ days a week. When you do work out for an hour, make it either 80% aerobic and core exercise, 20% stretching and fun. 

What's fun? Dancing. Playing tennis. An Xbox sports game. Surfing and snowboarding are as fun as they can be, but they are also an amazing aerobic and core workout.  

Then on alternate working out days, switch the 80% of the hour you work out from 80% aerobic, 20% core exercise to 80% core exercise, 20% aerobic. But keep the 20% stretching and fun. 

There you go. When in doubt apply 80/20. To keep things simple, I adopted the NFL program of Play 60 Minutes as a guideline for the minimum workout. Then apply 80/20, for both rest and stretching and aerobic and core, but keep the stretching/fun to 20%. And then switch aerobic and core each day.  That will make for built-in rest.  

80/20 even applies to the whole thing. If you work out 5 days a week 80% of the time, that is good. 20% of the time you can slack a bit. 

Of course, you can do more exercise if you want. 

My thing right now is I want to lose some weight, OK, a lot of weight. So I am being strict with the 80/20 diet and emphasizing aerobic over core exercise. 

Is it working? Yes, I have lost some weight already. Not enough for anyone to comment, but I know. And I feel better with more energy.