In San Diego, they are performing “Cruzar la Cara de la Luna” which is the first Mariachi Band Opera. A Mariachi Band Opera, that is the musical equivalent of combining a root canal with a colonoscopy.

Tiger Woods and skier Lindsay Vonn declared on Twitter they updated their relationship status on Facebook to a couple; and that is this week’s story my Aunt Trudy will not understand.

In sad news, Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough have broken up; apparently she wants to date other pretend boyfriends.

Dear Fellow Long-Suffering Chicago Cubs Fans:

Prepare to suffer some more.

That ass-munch of a GM, Jim Hendry, did so much damage paying way too much to that fellow ass-munch Zombrano and Milton Bradley and albeit nice guy, but overpaid, Fukudome, and Soriano, the Cubs are going to suck for at least another year. 

Sorry,

Lex