That’s what I’m talmbout, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

New York is getting a late winter storm. It is so cold and snowy, Mayor Bloomberg wants to ban large mugs of cocoa.

It is so cold and snowy, Donald Trump had to hire an Eskimo to walk that thing on his head.

You know what happened last weekend? The two Popes got together for lunch, Benedict and Francis. It was the first ever Pope-ah-palooza.

“Les Miserables” is now available DVD. It is a period piece set in the French revolution put to a musical titled in French the miserable ones. Which is what straight guys are who have to watch it.

The IRS is being criticized for spending $60,000 to make a “Star Trek” video for a conference; asked to comment, a spokesperson for the IRS said; “Gosh, we hope nobody is mad at us. Oh, wait, we’re the IRS, we don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks.”

A report claims a gay NFL player is considering coming out, but he is concerned about the reaction from homophobic fans. The NFL fans should be fine with a gay player. This is a sport with skin-tight pants, shoulder pads, tight-ends, eye-makeup, touchdown dances and stylish headwear.

How much is the former Pope Benedict enjoying himself this Spring Break? Four words: Naked Pope Keg Stand.

Texas Christian University has started a support group for students with Attention Deficit Disorder; it’s called the Texas Christian University ADD, I like pie.

The Supreme Court is hearing arguments for and against gay marriage; the argument against marriage will be given by married guys.