Saturday, January 12, 2013

Green Bay About to Drop the Tres* on this Fray, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Did you hear about “Today” show weatherman, Al Roker’s confession that he pooped his pants at the White House? It’s all in his new book titled: “Hey, Biden, Pull My Finger, Oh Crap.”

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are having a baby. That will be a tough one for the delivery doctor, he’ll have to decide between spanking the baby or slapping the parents.

Prostitutes in Brazil are learning English for the upcoming soccer World Cup. Because their customers are soccer fans, the hookers are learning key phrases like, “Yes, you can use your hands,” “No, you can’t dribble before you shoot,” and “That’s not a header.”

Three-time Olympic runner, Suzy Favor Hamilton, admitted she worked as a Las Vegas call girl. From Olympian to hooker, that’s a Tiger Woods-like fall.

Congress’s approval rating is 9%. That means 91% of people think all congress does is constantly jerk us around. Congress doesn’t like the term constantly jerking us around; they prefer the term: tantric masturbation.

The movie “Lincoln” received 12 Oscar nominations. Even Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are going to see “Lincoln,” they can’t wait to find out how it ends.

*Clay Matthews III did that Depends commercial. How much did they pay Clay? Not enough to make up for the crap he got in the locker room. 

Since you asked:

Sitcoms offer a great reverse view of what we think our society is and what our society really is. 

Most sitcoms have to have a mission statement or goal. “The Cosby Show” set out to debunk ethnic stereotypes about African Americans. It went after this goal so hard and self-righteously it became almost a stereotype of White Americans portrayed by African Americans.

It also became preachy and seriously not funny. When the ratings started to dwindle  due to the heavy-handedness? Bring in another cute little African American girl.

“Seinfeld” took a lesson from this mistake and their mission statement became to be the opposite of “The Cosby Show.” No morals, no lessons, no good dancing, no hugging and no ugly sweaters. And no cute little African American girls. Hell, practically no African Americans period. 

The brilliance of all the Christopher Guest mockumentaries, “Like Best in Show” and “A Mighty Wind” and “Waiting for Guffman” is that you cannot go wrong mocking a segment of our society that take itself too seriously. 

(Why they haven’t made a movie about soccer parents is a mystery to me. Like the seriously devoted born-again-Christian soccer mom who screamed; “That’s not a f*cking foul”)

“Girls” does this too.

Although it was long overdue, women’s right’s activists and feminists had free license to castrate any male who claimed there was anything men could do that women could not. This also followed with our national obsession with political correctness triumphing over common sense.

All through the ‘70’s, 80’ and ‘90’s, anyone who hinted that men and women were different in any way was beaten to the ground with a self-righteous P.C. stick. Even though we all knew that wasn't true. Although just as smart and capable as one another, there are differences between men and women. Viva la difference. 

Then “Sex And the City” came along and was cutting edge in its admission that women like to shop, gossip, talk-dirty, have periods, drink, brunch and have sex. (And live in the most expensive sections of Manhattan without seemingly ever having to go to a job)

“Girls” has now done to “Sex and the City” what “Seinfeld” did to “The Cosby Show.” When “Sex and the City” became a joke about itself, we needed something more realistic.

As great as “Girls” is, and it is great, as a father of a 14-year-old, it is hard to watch. 

(Let’s go ahead and nominate Brian Williams for Father of the Year for allowing his beautiful daughter, Allison, to do what she does in this show. And she does a lot)