Hollah to a ballah, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

The Grammys were amazing. Great job hosting by LL Cool J. He also won that new Grammy award: Person the least like Mitt Romney.

How about that amazing performance at the Grammys by the Foo Fighters? I like the Foo Fighters, they fight more Foo before 9:00 am than most people fight all day.

How about Taylor Swift at the Grammys? As gorgeous as she is, it would be tough to be her boyfriend. Every time you mess up, it gets turned into a hit song. Introducing Taylor’s latest hit: “That Idiot Took Me To Olive Garden For Valentines Day.”

How about Taylor Swift at the Grammys? As gorgeous as she is, it would be tough to be her boyfriend. Every time you mess up, it gets turned into a hit song. “Gosh, sorry, Taylor. I swear that’s never happened. Hey, what are you writing down?”

Have you seen those commercials for Disney Cruises? That is a dream vacation: all of the threat of capsizing and food poisoning combined with screaming brats.

How about that amazing performance at the Grammys by the Foo Fighters? You know who isn’t a big fan of the Foo Fighters? Mr. T. He pities the Foo.

How about Taylor Swift at the Grammys? As gorgeous as she is, it would be tough to be her boyfriend. Every time you mess up, it gets turned into a hit song. Introducing Taylor’s latest hit: “Last night he farted so loud it woke up the dog.”

Adele won six Grammys. Adele won a Grammy for best Grammy.

A North Carolina man upset with a rude Facebook post by his teenage daughter, filmed himself shooting her laptop nine times with a pistol. That is too much. Now shooting someone’s cell phone nine times when they’re on it while driving? Fine.

In New York it is Fashion Week along with the Westminster Dog Show. So tourists, please do not attempt to pet the angry-looking bitches. They will bite.

Harvard graduate, Jeremy Lin, has led the New York Knicks to five victories. The 6ft 3 Asian-American Lin does not look like a typical NBA player. In fact, he looks more like the guy NBA players used to cheat off of in math class.

Since you asked:

For Valentimes day (what I called it as a kid) made my New Year’s Eve special filet mignon topped with crab and drizzled with Hollandaise sauce. Awesome. This time I added grilled asparagus. AC and Virg love my grilled asparagus or they wouldn’t put up with me yelling “AsparaGoooooooooooooose” twenty times while I make it.

Boil asparagus just long enough to see a little green in the water. Two, three minutes. They are just a tad soft. Then blanch them in ice water.

Drizzle with EVOO and sprinkle with sea salt. Grill on a hot grill just to see grill marks.

Valentines Day is to holidays what rotating your tires is to driving.

We have the world's only tap dancing dog.

When Mister Wrigley gets excited, his tail twirls like a helicopter propellor and he dances from one front paw to the other. When he does that, his little toenails tap on the hardwood floor and I swear it sounds like he is tap dancing.

Every day at exactly 2:00 pm, Wrigley stands up and stares at me announcing it is time for his afternoon nap. He then trots me over to the laundry room and out to the garage where he won't go into his bed until I give him a treat.

Yep, he has his dad trained pretty good.