Catch the wind, we’re gonna see it spin, girl, we’re gonna sail away, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
A 59-year-old Wisconsin man, Don Gorske, celebrated eating his 25,000th McDonalds Big Mac. He buys ten at a time and then puts them in the freezer. Right next to the severed head of a drifter.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy and the first lady, Carla Bruni are expecting a child. The couple is not going to find out the sex of the child until it is born. Hell, they may never find out who the father is.
The French chief of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, is in a New York jail for trying to rape a hotel maid. The guy got naked, hid in the bathroom and jumped the maid. Or as they call that in France: a date.
The maid was disgusted and you can’t blame her. Imagine getting attacked by an old, naked French guy. The smell alone would kill you.
French first lady, Carla Bruni is pregnant. I don’t want to say the French first lady is promiscuous, but when they discovered Carla was pregnant, Bill Clinton left Europe for the US, Arnold Schwarzenegger became separated, and Donald Trump stopped running for president.
Sarkozy’s household staff is preparing for loud tantrums, cleaning up messy high chairs and putting in booster seats. And besides caring for Sarkozy, they’re getting ready for a baby.
When single, Carla had quite a list of celebrity lovers including Eric Clapton, Mick Jagger, Donald Trump, Kevin Costner and many more. Statisticians are working on how it was even possible Bruni missed Charlie Sheen.
Arnold Schwarzenegger slept with a house servant and she had his child. Or as the always positive Arnold likes to think of it, he was acting in the manner of the great Thomas Jefferson.
Republican candidate, Rick Santorum, said John McCain does not understand torture as well as he does. Sure, McCain was brutally tortured everyday in a Viet Cong prison camp for over 5 years, but Santorum had to endure rush week at the Tau Epsilon Phi fraternity at Penn State.
Because of his out-of-wedlock child and the upcoming divorce, Arnold Schwarzenegger could lose $150 million. That is a lot to pay to get your Schwarzen Egger’d.
Disney has procured the rights to the name Seal Team Six. Kinda wish Warner Bros. got it, then we could have had Foghorn Leghorn as Osama; “Boy, I say, boy, I’m not a terrorist, that right there - look at me when I’m talkin’ to you, boy - that right there is a terrorist.”
A 59-year-old Wisconsin man, Don Gorske, celebrated eating his 25,000th McDonalds Big Mac. For 39 years he’s averaged about two a day. And here is the bad news, gals: he’s taken.
With Oprah’s show ending, quite frankly, I’m a little worried. Prices are high and the economy is bad, I sure hope Oprah has saved enough for retirement.
Because of his out-of-wedlock child and the upcoming divorce, Arnold Schwarzenegger could lose $150 million. Even Charlie Sheen could keep it in his pants for that much.
Stories of Hollywood nice guy Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mistreatment of women are emerging. In short, Arnold treats women worse than critics treated “Jingle All the Way.”
Since you asked:
Arnold’s Hollywood career is stuffed. Mel Gibson stuffed.
We knew that, due to his wild abuse of steroids, Arnold built an incredible career in body building, Hollywood and in politics seemingly on the power of sheer will and positive thinking. Now we know just how fragile the base of that career is, worse, we got a full stench-y whiff of the immorality and the egomania that is really Arnold’s foundation.
If the basis of Arnold’s life is from cheating with steroids, why wouldn’t he think lying and cheating is fine? This is a cigar chomping ape who grabs and paws women like a psychopath and keeps a rabid pit bull on his payroll, attorney Marty Silver, to scare the women from pressing charges.
We all know Arnold cannot act. But it was fun watching him like it is fun watching a little kid pretend to be soldier or a cowboy. Now that we know the great big likeable little kid isn’t at all likeable, it will be no fun to watch Arnold act badly anymore.
And Arnold was stupid enough to blow it all on a maid. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a maid. But she knew what - and who - she was doing) Not a hot maid, either, a common looking maid. Let’s say Arnold's the kind of disgusting pig-monster that, even though married with four kids, got hot looking at a frumpy maid vacuuming his office. Even if he is that much of a vile penis head, doesn’t he have the decency to put on a condom?
Arnold didn’t. And now he is more screwed than any personal assistant from any of his movies. You can’t feel sorry for Arnold for the exact same reason you can’t feel sorry for Tiger Woods. Who you can feel sorry for are the people who desperately wanted to believe in a big, upbeat immigrant rising to the top on hard work and optimism.
Instead they’re stuck with an immoral cheater and a liar who happened to get incredibly lucky.
A 59-year-old Wisconsin man, Don Gorske, celebrated eating his 25,000th McDonalds Big Mac. He buys ten at a time and then puts them in the freezer. Right next to the severed head of a drifter.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy and the first lady, Carla Bruni are expecting a child. The couple is not going to find out the sex of the child until it is born. Hell, they may never find out who the father is.
The French chief of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, is in a New York jail for trying to rape a hotel maid. The guy got naked, hid in the bathroom and jumped the maid. Or as they call that in France: a date.
The maid was disgusted and you can’t blame her. Imagine getting attacked by an old, naked French guy. The smell alone would kill you.
French first lady, Carla Bruni is pregnant. I don’t want to say the French first lady is promiscuous, but when they discovered Carla was pregnant, Bill Clinton left Europe for the US, Arnold Schwarzenegger became separated, and Donald Trump stopped running for president.
Sarkozy’s household staff is preparing for loud tantrums, cleaning up messy high chairs and putting in booster seats. And besides caring for Sarkozy, they’re getting ready for a baby.
When single, Carla had quite a list of celebrity lovers including Eric Clapton, Mick Jagger, Donald Trump, Kevin Costner and many more. Statisticians are working on how it was even possible Bruni missed Charlie Sheen.
Arnold Schwarzenegger slept with a house servant and she had his child. Or as the always positive Arnold likes to think of it, he was acting in the manner of the great Thomas Jefferson.
Republican candidate, Rick Santorum, said John McCain does not understand torture as well as he does. Sure, McCain was brutally tortured everyday in a Viet Cong prison camp for over 5 years, but Santorum had to endure rush week at the Tau Epsilon Phi fraternity at Penn State.
Because of his out-of-wedlock child and the upcoming divorce, Arnold Schwarzenegger could lose $150 million. That is a lot to pay to get your Schwarzen Egger’d.
Disney has procured the rights to the name Seal Team Six. Kinda wish Warner Bros. got it, then we could have had Foghorn Leghorn as Osama; “Boy, I say, boy, I’m not a terrorist, that right there - look at me when I’m talkin’ to you, boy - that right there is a terrorist.”
A 59-year-old Wisconsin man, Don Gorske, celebrated eating his 25,000th McDonalds Big Mac. For 39 years he’s averaged about two a day. And here is the bad news, gals: he’s taken.
With Oprah’s show ending, quite frankly, I’m a little worried. Prices are high and the economy is bad, I sure hope Oprah has saved enough for retirement.
Because of his out-of-wedlock child and the upcoming divorce, Arnold Schwarzenegger could lose $150 million. Even Charlie Sheen could keep it in his pants for that much.
Stories of Hollywood nice guy Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mistreatment of women are emerging. In short, Arnold treats women worse than critics treated “Jingle All the Way.”
Since you asked:
Arnold’s Hollywood career is stuffed. Mel Gibson stuffed.
We knew that, due to his wild abuse of steroids, Arnold built an incredible career in body building, Hollywood and in politics seemingly on the power of sheer will and positive thinking. Now we know just how fragile the base of that career is, worse, we got a full stench-y whiff of the immorality and the egomania that is really Arnold’s foundation.
If the basis of Arnold’s life is from cheating with steroids, why wouldn’t he think lying and cheating is fine? This is a cigar chomping ape who grabs and paws women like a psychopath and keeps a rabid pit bull on his payroll, attorney Marty Silver, to scare the women from pressing charges.
We all know Arnold cannot act. But it was fun watching him like it is fun watching a little kid pretend to be soldier or a cowboy. Now that we know the great big likeable little kid isn’t at all likeable, it will be no fun to watch Arnold act badly anymore.
And Arnold was stupid enough to blow it all on a maid. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a maid. But she knew what - and who - she was doing) Not a hot maid, either, a common looking maid. Let’s say Arnold's the kind of disgusting pig-monster that, even though married with four kids, got hot looking at a frumpy maid vacuuming his office. Even if he is that much of a vile penis head, doesn’t he have the decency to put on a condom?
Arnold didn’t. And now he is more screwed than any personal assistant from any of his movies. You can’t feel sorry for Arnold for the exact same reason you can’t feel sorry for Tiger Woods. Who you can feel sorry for are the people who desperately wanted to believe in a big, upbeat immigrant rising to the top on hard work and optimism.
Instead they’re stuck with an immoral cheater and a liar who happened to get incredibly lucky.
posted by Alex at
9:19 AM
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