Thursday, May 05, 2011

This guy is married to, and probably cheating on, a hot babe. That is all you ever need to know about the status of wealth in this country.

Lock and load, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

As part of her community service verdict, Lindsay Lohan will teach acting to homeless people. Wouldn’t it be more fitting for Lindsay to teach homelessness to actors?

The Royal couple is on their unofficial honeymoon. Now I don’t want to imply that Kate Middleton is really wild, but today Prince William called the Navy Seals to come and rescue him.

At the Lakers game, did you see Will Ferrell kiss John C. Reilly for the kiss-cam? It was the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. It was like a homemade shoe kissing a basset hound’s scrotum.

Kohler has developed a $6,500 toilet. And it is very European and named for the people who spend $6,500 on a toilet: The Whůtähschmŭck.

Pittsburgh Steeler Rashard Mendenhall on twitter questioned both the need for killing Osama bin Laden as well as the validity of the September 11th attacks. All the same, I am going to wait and see what terrorist and sociology expert Brett Favre has to say.

Native American spokespeople are objecting to the name “Geronimo” as the Navy Seal’s code word for killing Osama bin Laden. In retrospect, they’re right, the code words should have been; “Native American spokespeople are self-righteous idiots.”

Donald Trump described himself politically as a republican with a big heart. That’s like saying you’re a Kardashian with a little butt.

That’s like saying you’re bald with a good comb-over.

Did you hear Sarah Palin’s reaction to the assassination of Osama bin Laden? It was a little embarrassing. Palin said; “Wow, I knew the Navy trained dolphins, I had no idea they also used seals.”

This is a brutal time for Donald Trump. First President Obama disclosed his birth certificate, then Obama roasted Trump at the Correspondent’s dinner, then Obama had Osama bin Laden killed. The only way this could get worse for Trump is if his hairdresser writes a tell-all book.

Pittsburgh Steeler Rashard Mendenhall questioned the attacks of 9/11 and criticized anyone celebrating Osama bin Laden’s death. Anyone wishing to question Mendenhall’s public relations decisions can reach him at his in-home dog fighting ring.

After a well-received Seth Meyers Correspondent’s Dinner roast of Donald Trump, Donald Trump called Seth Meyers untalented. That’s like Charlie Sheen calling you a boozer.

Since you asked:

If you are in any way shape or form a Osama-bin-Laden-was-rocked-dead-by-the-awesome-Navy- Seals buzz killer, and that includes Native American Spokespeople, Steeler Rashard Mendenhall and Donald Trump, you A, are an idiot, and B, I hate you.

This is for my conservative friends who accuse me of being too liberal because I hate Donald Trump and Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.

If they produce a video tape of Osama bin Laden with his arms raised screaming in perfect English;

“I surrender, please don’t shoot, I will tell you everything about future terrorists plots. I want to become an American. God bless the Chicago Cubs.”

I am still 100% fine with the fact they shot that bastard in the eyeball.

Lex’s Killer Fish and Shrimp Tacos

Marinate the fish and the shrimp in olive oil, Old Bay, garlic powder, sea salt and fresh pepper at least one hour.

Google Japanese Yum Yum sauce recipe and make. Just add some salsa.

In separate bowls have shredded jack and cheddar cheese, coarsely-chopped fresh cilantro, shredded red cabbage, avocado slices and lime wedges.

Grilled the fresh Talapia –any fresh white meat fish will do – for about five minutes on a very hot grill. While this was going on, I sautéed the shrimp in a skillet. Also around five minutes. Put tin foil over both and grilled the corn soft taco shells on the grill.

Take a soft taco, add the shrimp and fish, lots of cheese, a little red cabbage, fresh cilantro, avocado slice, squeeze a lime on it and drizzle on the Yum Yum/Salsa sauce.