Going to California by Led Zeppelin

Thought this was written for me my senior year in H.S.


They all hidin’ all up in they hidey-holes, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Sadly, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are separating. I thought how Arnold told her was a little harsh; “I won’t be back.”

Sadly, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are separating. I don’t understand how a couple, who has four kids and twenty five years together, can split up. But then I also don’t understand why a cyborg sent from the future to kill has a thick Austrian accent.

English soccer great David Beckham rear-ended a car on the 405. To be candid, Beckham has had trouble to adjusting to driving in the US, as a soccer player, he forgets he can use his hands.

My favorite Osama bin Laden conspiracy theory has him in the witness protection program working in the drive-through window at the Chino, CA McDonalds. “OK, Carl, for the last time, ask if they want fries with that, and no more: Death to Infidels.”

Al Qaeda is having trouble picking a replacement for Osama bin Laden. Right now it is a toss up between two candidates: Yuahr Zohdead and Adi-Ohse Muthah-Ephah.

A Florida 19-year-old male was jailed after attacking his mother for drinking his Starbucks beverage. How’s that for a happy Mother’s Day message? “Hey, Mom, thanks for giving me life and raising me, but if you touch my Frapachino, I’ll knock you out.”

In his “Sixty Minutes” interview, President Barack Obama used the expression; “Osama was hiding in plain sight.” Hiding in plain sight means, by being out where everybody can see them, nobody really notices them. It’s just like the New York Mets.

Al Qaeda is having trouble picking a replacement for Osama bin Laden. The only job title now with a shorter life-expectancy than head of al Qaeda is; “World’s Oldest Person.”

Osama bin Laden supporters want the Arabian Sea where he was dumped to be renamed the Martyr Sea. After hiding in his bedroom for five years, how about Cowardice Sea?

Prince William and Kate Middleton are finally off on their Honeymoon. I’d like to take this time to wish Prince William a whole lot of luck.

A Chicago man is in jail for assaulting a clerk after he stole nacho cheese sauce at a Seven Eleven. He was charged with theft, assault and executing the punch line of a racist joke.