Molly Smooches is my new all-girl rock country blues band, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

MTV announced “Jersey Shore” Snooki will be in the ball that drops in Times Square on New Year’s Eve. Normally if folks in New York want to watch a dropped ball they go watch the Mets

“Playboy” founder, 84-year-old Hugh Hefner is engaged to 24-year-old Crystal Harris. Hef thought she cried when he gave her the ring? Wait until she finds out an octogenarian isn’t someone who doesn’t eat octopus.

Lindsay Lohan comes back late to the Betty Ford Center after drinking all night and gets in a physical confrontation with a staff member and now that staff member has been fired. Fired for what? Killing Lindsay’s buzz? Aren’t Betty Ford counselors supposed to oppose bar hopping?

To give you an idea how much rain there was in California, at the Betty Ford Center, some water actually got into Lindsay Lohan’s Whisky and water.

“Playboy” founder, 84-year-old Hugh Hefner is engaged to 24-year-old Playmate, Crystal Harris. When asked what it is like to be engaged to an Octogenarian, Harris said, it’s fine, I’m a Sagittarius.

“Playboy” founder, 84-year-old Hugh Hefner is engaged to 24-year-old Playmate, Crystal Harris. 60 years apart, that is a wide spread. In fact the only thing that’s been spread wider than that has been Crystal.

A 25-year old Iowa man called 911 and turned himself in because he was too drunk to drive. He was arrested for drunk driving and charged with being too stupid to own a car.

A Wisconsin man was fined $400 for swearing on a bus. I believe his exact words were; “I can’t believe its Christmas time and I am riding an effing bus.”

“Playboy” founder, 84-year-old Hugh Hefner is engaged to 24-year-old Playmate, Crystal Harris. Don’t forget, 84 is the new 44 in rich and famous dude’s years.