The dust that Pancho bit down South ended up in Lefty’s mouth, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
It turns out Times Square Bomber, Faisal Shahzad, vacationed in Pakistan several times. You’d think that might be a red flag, that and his “I (heart) Osama bin Laden” bumper sticker.
A 23-year-old Mobile man won a million dollars scoring the high score on a video game. The million dollar prize means he may become the first avid male video game player ever to get laid.
The world’s oldest person passed away at 114. Police continue to unsuccessfully track the world’s oldest person serial killing rampage.
Authorities were able to capture Times Square bomber, Faisal Shahzad using his IP address which tracks all online activities including porn sites. As a result, the entire Securities Exchange Commission has been placed on the No Fly list.
“Sports Illustrated” described an ugly picture of Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger. Apparently Ben vulgarly disrespects women in bars and leaves without paying his tab. No shock though, Roethlisberger is an old German word meaning: Microscopic Penis.
Sales of Roethlisberger’s jerseys are in the toilet, right where Ben likes to have sex in bars.
“Sports Illustrated” described an ugly picture of Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger. Apparently Ben gropes women in bars and leaves without paying his tab. Which shouldn’t be a surprise when you consider the name Roethlisberger is German for: Tiger Woods.
The oldest person in the world passed away at 114; thus making the title: oldest person in the world the worst title to have next to: Michael Moore’s Proctologist.
Times Square Bomber, Faisal Shahzad, visited Pakistan, bought bomb ingredients online and paid cash for a one way ticket to Dubai. Let’s go ahead and put the terror alert level to: We’re screwed.
Nike has stuck with sex scandal athletes like Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods and now Ben Roethlisberger. But Nike does have standards, they probably would have dropped OJ Simpson, Turns out the name Nike is an acronym: Nookie Included, Killing Excluded.
Nike has stuck with sex scandal athletes Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods and now Ben Roethlisberger. I don’t want to say Nike’s image is soiled, but their new motto is: Just Do-do it.
In Indiana, a 72-year-old grandmother is having an affair with her 26-year-old grandson and she says the sex is great. The best part of sex for him? The hard candy she gives him afterwards.
In Indiana, a 72-year-old grandmother is having an affair with her 26-year-old grandson. And that concludes this year’s “White Trash of the Year” awards. Sorry drunken lawn mower rider, sorry meth-addict hiding in manure, you simply cannot beat that.
The Arizona immigration law is so strict, all the Arizona Chi-Chi’s are changing their name to Doug-Doug’s.
Since you asked:
You know what is so great about my new diet/exercise program? No, seriously, I am asking.
Ha, ha, all kidding aside, it has been fun. Essentially eating much better to the point of being a vegetarian all day, and then not going nuts with dinner. Grilled chicken, fish, pasta, occasional grilled steak.
The exercise consists of getting back on the track in an old-guy way and doing interval strides. Nothing that would tear a hammy or an achilles, but pushing it. Add on lots core exercises including the Indo board, jumping rope, juggling a soccer ball, dumbbells, push ups, sit ups, running stairs and the occasional 3 mile run for aerobic. That and a at-least-once a week stand up paddle board session.
Now the weakest link of my program is the evil wine. And the more-than-occasional San Diego Sunset. (Mount Gay on the rocks, big splash of coconut water, squeeze of lime) But, hey, I am not training for the Olympics here so why not?
Already I feel better, sleep better, my pants fit better and I am seeing progress. Long way to go, but the great thing about a fitness program is it gives you a chance to be a winner each and every day. Work out and eat well and you’ve won.
Of course, along with that comes the chance of being a loser each day. But the great part is it is up to me. Not anyone else. Me.
It turns out Times Square Bomber, Faisal Shahzad, vacationed in Pakistan several times. You’d think that might be a red flag, that and his “I (heart) Osama bin Laden” bumper sticker.
A 23-year-old Mobile man won a million dollars scoring the high score on a video game. The million dollar prize means he may become the first avid male video game player ever to get laid.
The world’s oldest person passed away at 114. Police continue to unsuccessfully track the world’s oldest person serial killing rampage.
Authorities were able to capture Times Square bomber, Faisal Shahzad using his IP address which tracks all online activities including porn sites. As a result, the entire Securities Exchange Commission has been placed on the No Fly list.
“Sports Illustrated” described an ugly picture of Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger. Apparently Ben vulgarly disrespects women in bars and leaves without paying his tab. No shock though, Roethlisberger is an old German word meaning: Microscopic Penis.
Sales of Roethlisberger’s jerseys are in the toilet, right where Ben likes to have sex in bars.
“Sports Illustrated” described an ugly picture of Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger. Apparently Ben gropes women in bars and leaves without paying his tab. Which shouldn’t be a surprise when you consider the name Roethlisberger is German for: Tiger Woods.
The oldest person in the world passed away at 114; thus making the title: oldest person in the world the worst title to have next to: Michael Moore’s Proctologist.
Times Square Bomber, Faisal Shahzad, visited Pakistan, bought bomb ingredients online and paid cash for a one way ticket to Dubai. Let’s go ahead and put the terror alert level to: We’re screwed.
Nike has stuck with sex scandal athletes like Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods and now Ben Roethlisberger. But Nike does have standards, they probably would have dropped OJ Simpson, Turns out the name Nike is an acronym: Nookie Included, Killing Excluded.
Nike has stuck with sex scandal athletes Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods and now Ben Roethlisberger. I don’t want to say Nike’s image is soiled, but their new motto is: Just Do-do it.
In Indiana, a 72-year-old grandmother is having an affair with her 26-year-old grandson and she says the sex is great. The best part of sex for him? The hard candy she gives him afterwards.
In Indiana, a 72-year-old grandmother is having an affair with her 26-year-old grandson. And that concludes this year’s “White Trash of the Year” awards. Sorry drunken lawn mower rider, sorry meth-addict hiding in manure, you simply cannot beat that.
The Arizona immigration law is so strict, all the Arizona Chi-Chi’s are changing their name to Doug-Doug’s.
Since you asked:
You know what is so great about my new diet/exercise program? No, seriously, I am asking.
Ha, ha, all kidding aside, it has been fun. Essentially eating much better to the point of being a vegetarian all day, and then not going nuts with dinner. Grilled chicken, fish, pasta, occasional grilled steak.
The exercise consists of getting back on the track in an old-guy way and doing interval strides. Nothing that would tear a hammy or an achilles, but pushing it. Add on lots core exercises including the Indo board, jumping rope, juggling a soccer ball, dumbbells, push ups, sit ups, running stairs and the occasional 3 mile run for aerobic. That and a at-least-once a week stand up paddle board session.
Now the weakest link of my program is the evil wine. And the more-than-occasional San Diego Sunset. (Mount Gay on the rocks, big splash of coconut water, squeeze of lime) But, hey, I am not training for the Olympics here so why not?
Already I feel better, sleep better, my pants fit better and I am seeing progress. Long way to go, but the great thing about a fitness program is it gives you a chance to be a winner each and every day. Work out and eat well and you’ve won.
Of course, along with that comes the chance of being a loser each day. But the great part is it is up to me. Not anyone else. Me.
posted by Alex at
4:22 PM
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