She goin' left'r than a moficky

That how we do when we do the do that we do, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


In London, Amy Winehouse was hospitalized after a fall. Doctors say she is doing remarkably well when you consider Amy should have been dead three years ago.


The “Peanuts” comic-strip characters have been sold to Joe Boxer, an underwear company. Here’s my question: Do you really want a character plugging your underwear named Charlie Brown? Still, I suppose it’s better than Winnie-the-Pooh.


Now officials in Arizona claim the new strict immigration law does not target Mexicans. Yeah, it’s designed to stop that pesky and growing influx of rowdy Newfoundlanders.


In Nebraska, a teenage boy blamed his car crashing into a pole on his dog vomiting on him; not only that, did you know what the dog ate that made him sick? The boy’s homework.


In Nebraska, a woman got mad at a man who called her fat and bit off a piece of his ear. Boy, she sure showed him, he called her fat and she ate him.


Wow, did you see who got kicked off “American Idol”? Yeah, I can’t pronounce her name either.


Childhood obesity is bad, today a kid ate his iPad because he thought an app was short for appetizer.


Childhood obesity is bad, in Arizona they had to use a fork lift to deport a fat illegal alien kid.


Turkish scientists claim the have found the remains of Noah’s ark on top of Mt. Ararat. They are going to bring in an eyewitness expert to verify it, Larry King spent his first honeymoon onboard.


Seven Eleven is selling its own beer called Game Day. Game Day is a much better name than their first idea: Looser Boozer.


$40 billion swindler Bernie Madoff turns 71 today. That’s 151 in old-guys-having-unwanted-prison-sex years.


The only individual charged with fraud in the Goldman Sachs case is trader Fabrise Tourre. Fabrise calls himself “Fabulous Fab” and he’s from France. And you thought you despised him before?



Since you asked:
Working on new nicknames for my Cubbie bubbies for 2010. Marlon “Alcatraz” Byrd. Derrick “D-lirious” Lee, Mike “B Harp” Fontenote (which is what you play for a song in F) Ryan “T-Crazed” Theriot, Alf “Gordon Shumway” Sorriano, Aramis "Cologne" Rameriz. “Dangling” Chad “Dick” Tracy, (Not to be confused with dangling dick) Geo "Metro" Soto. And, for the Skip, Lou “Al Dente” Piniella. Oh, and Koske "My homay" Fukudome.