That’s why that kookie chick, that’s why that nutty broad, that’s why that boffo babe, is a tramp, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

(I’m going for a drink and a smoke, you cats get this crazy horn section figured out, I can’t work like this)


The Somali pirates in US custody will face trial in the US by a jury of their peers; It won’t be easy, this jury of pirate peers will be a harrrrrrrrrrd to find.

Three bi-sexual men are suing the softball Gay World Series for discrimination because they were deemed not gay enough. The Gay World Series strictly requires at least Adam Lambert gay, but they were only Neil Patrick Harris gay.

Three bi-sexual men are suing the softball Gay World Series for discrimination because they were disqualified for not being gay enough. Apparently they were kicked out for refusing to take one for the team.

In England, a surgeon mistakenly removed a patient’s testicle. The official medical term for that procedure is: a deduct-a-nut-out-a-me.


Scientists in the UK have developed an embryo with the DNA of one man and two women; they say it will create a person who will be able to both put the toilet seat down and pee on it.


Scientists in the UK have developed an embryo with the DNA of one man and two women; it is one part man, two parts women. Apropos of nothing, wasn’t Adam Lambert great on “American Idol”?


A Lake Tahoe police department thought a 61-year-old methamphetamine addict had a bomb inserted in his butt, turns out it was a vibrator. Three decorated long time career police officers instantly resigned before they finally found one who would remove the vibrator.

In Indiana, a man wanted on methamphetamine charges was found hiding in a pool of liquid manure; you know how they found him? His butt vibrator was humming loudly.


A Lake Tahoe police office thought a 61-year-old methamphetamine addict had a bomb inserted in his butt, turns out it was a vibrator. The officer who removed the vibrator has been nominated for the Medal of Valor.


In Indiana, a man wanted on methamphetamine charges was found hiding in a pool of liquid manure; this may actually surpass the guy who was arrested for drunk driving on a lawn mower and stealing fishing poles as the leading candidate for red neck of the year


Three bi-sexual men are suing the softball Gay World Series for discrimination because they were disqualified for not being gay enough. The Gay World Series requires a maximum of “Chocolat” gay and a minimum of “Brokeback Mountain” gay.