Paddle to the battle

What we got is the situation up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


This just in, that Russian choir at the Vancouver closing ceremonies? They just finished singing the Russian national anthem.

Kate Gosselin will appear on “Dancing with the Stars” which now apparently is called: “Dancing with the Untalented Reality TV Uber-Bitch.”

Did you see Sarah Palin’s stand up routine on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”? All that was missing was her closing with; “Good night, tip your waitress and try the Moose steaks.”


At Rutgers, sorority girls were arrested for paddling their pledges butts. When the call for this went out on the police scanner, it was responded to by a record 675 policemen.


Canadians accuse Americans of not understanding hockey, but that’s not true, if our guys had used their long pokey things to get that rubber disk into Canada’s net basket dealie before they did? We would have won.


Did you see Canadian hockey expert Don Cherry before the game? Oh my word, he looked like the spawn from unholy union of Dudley Doright and Lady Gaga.


If you ask me, the gold medal hockey game came down to a questionable icing call in the third period. Just kidding, I got no frickin’ clue what the hell was happening.


At Rutgers, sorority girls were arrested for paddling their pledges on their naked butts. The sorority girls were charged with assault, battery and attempting to commit the world’s hottest crime.