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We rockin’ the cold medications, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

“Urban Dictionary” has already defined the crib notes written on Sarah Palin’s hand as a Redneck Teleprompter. I guess that’s better than a White Trash Text Message.

Ellen Degeneres made her “American Idol” judging debut and I think she did great. It is official, Ellen is my favorite lesbian “AI” judge officially passing Simon Cowell.

This year the Chinese New Year falls on Valentines Day, and guess what? This year it is the year of the Tiger. Wow, even the gods of irony aren’t giving Tiger Woods a break.

Due to the snowstorm, our nation’s capital has been shut down; right now there is no work going on in Washington D.C., no effective laws are being passed, there is virtually no return being generated on the taxpayer’s dollars, in other words, it’s pretty much business as normal.

Due to the snowstorm, our nation’s capital has been shut down; it’s so bad even the lobbyists can’t get their bribes to the lawmakers.

Tennis star, Andy Roddick’s girlfriend, Brooklyn Decker, is on the cover of the “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit edition. You know Roddick’s buddies are going to mess with him:

“Hey, guys, it’s me Andy, I’m here, wanna go to a movie or a bar? Or play Madden? OK, that’s hysterical, now put down the damn magazines.”

Rumor has it Cameron Diaz was getting really friendly at a Super Bowl party with Alex Rodriguez. It might be true, today Cameron tested positive for Kate Hudson and steroids.

I sure hope they are together because they would form the super couple Diazguez.

Since you asked:

Thank all that is decent the folks at “Two and a Half Men” finally ditched Charlie’s pain-in-the-ass, nagging, self-righteous hammy fiancé, Chelsea. Even if Charlie did have to puke on a baby to get rid of her. (No, that is not a metaphor) Chelsea was almost as bad as Mia was. Please keep Charlie drunk, horny and single the way we love him and god intended.

I got me a hankerin' to slow grill/smoke some BBQ ribs, listen to some awesome blues harmonica ("Harp Attack" with Billy Branch, James Cotton and Junior Wells) and play online poker with my feet up on the desk, swirling/clinking my San Diego Sunset (Mount Gay Rum on the rocks with a heavy splash of coconut water and a squeeze of lime) in my left hand while shaking peanuts and popping them into my mouth with the other while saying the words paradigm and value-added a lot.

Well, I do.