This just in:

Singer/guitarist John Mayer told "Rolling Stone" he likes to masturbate his problems away; in a related story, Mayer's guitar tuner has suddenly and officially quit.


John Mayer is being called a racist due to an interview in "Playboy" where Mayer said, when it came to black women, his penis is a white supremacist. Let's see Mayer masturbate his way out of this problem.