This right here our very own groundhog, Mister Wrigley Telluride Kaseberg

Raise the bar and go viral outside the paradigm box, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

(Assist to the great comedy writer Jerry Perisho)

A medical study reveals boredom can actually quicken death. Over 28 years, researchers compiled boredom related factors as they apply to complex actuarial science tables to assess increase risk factors of boredom in both medical and statistical analysis, AHHHHHHH! (clunk)

The Super Bowl Hyundai commercial featured 40-year-old Brett Favre as a white-haired aged 50-year-old. To some it was funny, but as a man in the (cough) vicinity of 50, I found it ageist, insulting and condescending in both its depiction of . . . I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

In recent interviews, John Mayer said he masturbates his way of out of problems and described his penis as a white supremacist. Look for John’s next single: “Shut Up and Play the Guitar.”

In recent interviews, John Mayer said he masturbates his way of out of problems and described his penis as a white supremacist. In a story related to both quotes, the price of used John Mayer guitars in Detroit and Oakland have plummeted.

And I thought Mayer’s guitar-playing writhing facial expressions were tough to watch before?

In two interviews, John Mayer expressed his fondness for masturbating, insulted black women, used the N-word, described his penis as a white supremacist and compared sex with Jessica Simpson to crack. No matter how stupid his comments, they just keep coming and getting worse. It looks like Mayer has been eating off of "Dixie Chicks" Natalie Maines's plate again.

French intellectual Bernard-Henri Levy was tricked into quoting a fictional philosopher in his book “De La Guerre en Philosophy” (“Of War in Philosophy”) and, as a result, Levy has been mocked throughout France. And they say those whacky French don’t have a sense of humor.

Here’s my question: isn’t a book by a Frenchman with war in the title considered fiction anyway?

Sadly, famous fashion designer Alexander McQueen was found dead at the age of 40; police have named Lady Gaga's Grammy dress as a person of interest.

Since you asked:

Not sure why, but I can listen and watch rich and famous rock stars talk about their influences, their inspiration, their process and their history until the cows come home.

But the second some snotty, smug actor opens his self-satisfied pie-hole about their craft, I fly into a white-hot rage of indignation.

Listen, I have played pretend with my friends, and I have stood on a stage and played music for strangers. Wanna take a guess as to which one was harder?

Speaking of cows, and now that I have trashed the art of acting, you have got to see Claire Danes in HBO's "Temple Grandin."

It thrives on so many levels from depicting an autistic woman inventing a humane way to handle cattle to raising some incredibly emotional existential questions.

If her heart-rending cry of; "Where do they go?" doesn't hit you where you live, well, I can't help you.

If Danes doesn't win an Emmy for "TG" then something ain't right at all.