Some things are cool just because they are

We ain’t stallin’, we ballin’, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers Halloween is just around the corner; the Los Angeles Clippers are going trick or treating as NBA players. Everyone gets into the Halloween spirit in Southern California, the freeway shooters replace their bullets with Silly String. Everyone gets into the Halloween spirit in Southern California, when you get a spray tan, you can ask for Halloween orange. Everyone gets into the Halloween spirit in Southern California, for the next three days women in Beverly Hills can get their breast implants in the shape of those Halloween candy corns. Kids, whatever you do, do not go trick or treating dressed as Northwest pilots, you’ll miss your neighbor’s houses by 150 miles. California doctors have approved medical marijuana in the treatment of hemorrhoids; the bad news? You have to smoke from your other end. You thought it was tough when the joint got down to the roach-end before? Ouch. ESPN’s Steve Phillips was fired over an affair with a co-worker, and now he is in sex addiction rehab. Losing his job at ESPN is a good start. Now all he has to do is become a clerk at Radio Shack and he will never have to worry about being addicted to sex again. ESPN’s Steve Phillips was fired over an affair with a co-worker, and now he is in sex addiction rehab. And they are bringing in a celebrity expert sex-addiction therapist: former Sec. of State, Condoleezza Rice. She is an expert at not having sex. Since you asked: The first time I took Ann Caroline trick or treating, she was about four and she was a little nervous and tentative. She was dressed up as a princess ballerina. Pink tutu and tiara. It took a little urging to get her to walk up by herself to a our neighbor's house and ring the door bell. "Twick or Tweat" she said in a trembling little nervous voice that sounded more like a question. Then our neighbor, Nancy, gushed over how pretty she looked and A.C. beamed. The shyness was gone. And then the most amazing thing happened. Nancy dumped a bunch of candy into her plastic pumpkin, and Ann Caroline's entire body lit up like a firefly. You could almost see her think: "This is my calling. Get dressed up and get handed free candy? I am going to do this every single day." She then thanked Nancy and bolted - and I mean really ran - over to the next house. I think she wanted to see if this was fluke. Nope, sure enough, another round of gushing compliments followed by a bunch of free candy. Right then and there Ann Caroline decided she was going to be a professional trick or treat'r for the rest of her life.