Some things are beautiful just because they are

Some things are beautiful just because they are

If y'all see Anna Faris, tell a beyahatch to call a brother, that slam and scram mess don't play up in this up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A watchdog committee gave a scathing report on the SEC's pathetic investigation of Bernie Madoff. Not to put too fine a point on it, but apparently it is hard to investigate someone when you are busy smooching their butt.

Today they are going to finally bury Michael Jackson, nine weeks after he passed. Suddenly I don't feel so bad about leaving the recyclable bin out an extra two days.

You won't believe who turned 36 this summer. Monica Lewinski. She celebrated the usual way by sucking out her birthday cake candles and playing pin-the-semen-sample-on-the-donkey.

You won't believe who turned 36 this summer. Monica Lewinski. Only 33 more years to go until I can make a 69 joke about her birthday.

Health officials say the best way to not get swine flu is to avoid all human contact. Suddenly Dick Cheney doesn't seem so crazy, does he?

The good news? Drinking alcohol can lower your risk of getting Alzheimer's disease. The bad news? You're gonna remember all the stupid crap you do when you got drunk.

Women's 800 World Champion, Caster Semenya is undergoing thorough sex evaluation tests. They poked her, they prodded her, they pulled her, they pricked her, hell, she signed up to come back next week.