Stop it, hop it and chop it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It is so hot in Washington, the Nationals are striking out on purpose just to feel the breeze coming off of their bats.


In what is being applauded as a noble gesture, Hillary Clinton is campaigning for Barack Obama; and, in what might be an even more generous and effective move for democrats, Hillary has asked Bill Clinton to campaign for John McCain.


Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had their twins, a boy and girl. In an ironic twist, the twins were immediately adopted by a starving African couple.


Troubled NFL star Pacman Jones announced he is dropping his nickname Pacman and going by his given name, Adam. In an equally effective move, Trenton, New Jersey just changed its name to Malibu, California.


Troubled NFL star “Pacman” Jones announced he is dropping his nickname Pacman and going by his given name, Adam. In public relations circles this move is known by its more familiar name: The old lipstick-on-a-pig spin.


Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had their twins, a boy and girl. No word on what their names are but don’t rule out Lugnut, Saskatchewan, Platypus or Biscuit.


The Washington Nationals are tied with the worst record in baseball. In fact, for the Nationals to do any worse they would have to be caught on-camera threatening to cut off Barack Obama’s testicles.


France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy hosted the leaders of Syria, Israel and Palestine. It was considered a brave diplomatic gesture right up until the moment Sarkozy surrendered France to the Syrians, Israelis and the Palestinians.


Troubled NFL Star "Pacman" Jones is changing to his given name, Adam. In a related story, OJ Simpson has changed his name to Nelson Mandela.