Put your hands in the air like you just don’t care ‘cause that how we do, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Top Four
The top four women seeds have been eliminated at Wimbledon. They were Maria Sharapova and Anna Not-Maria-Sharapova, Heidi What-happened-to-Maria Sharapova? and Helga Where-the-heck-is-Maria-Sharapova?

Loud
Before being eliminated in the second round of Wimbledon, Maria Sharapova’s grunting reached 103.2 decibels, louder than a lawnmower, a train or even louder than a teenage boy yelling at his mother to get out of his room while he is looking at Internet pictures of Maria Sharapova.

Sweet
Hefty former “American Idol” winner Rueben Stoddard got married. It was very romantic, his fiancé wrote their vows: “Do you promise to love honor cherish and always be on the bottom?”

Uh, no Sir
It was a little awkward when they told President Bush that Friday was the Fourth of July, Bush said; “Wow, is it just me or does it seem the Fourth of July came early this year?”

Them too
A new study has found that most married couples have better sex when they're on vacation. And so did their partners, the bellhops and the chamber maids.


Good advice
The Chicago Cubs and the Chicago White Sox are leading their divisions. It's looking like the Cubs and the White Sox could be in the World Series. In the event they are, Illinois farmers are being advised to lock their pigs in the barn so they don’t fly off.

Since you asked:

There are a lot of rules - to paraphrase John Cusak’s character in “High Fidelity” - to making a good playlist. You got to start strong but you can’t blow your wad. Then you want to throttle back, but not lose them.

On Wednesday’s the parents of our girl’s under 10 soccer team participate in a Speed to Burn class for adults, which is sports training. So I made a playlist to play on my new awesome iPod Bose portable speakers.

“Can’t Find My Way Home” Clapton with Yvonne Elliman. It is a good song for the warm up.

“Start Me Up” Stones. Sorry, I know this is obvious but it is now hardwired into our brains to get you going.

“Stay With Me” Faces. Ron Wood tears this up with ripping guitar-hero chords that can make you run through a wall.

“Up Around the Bend” by CCR. Another seismic jammermammer.

“Word Up” Cameo. What? It’s a cool song. And it is hilarious to picture Steve Carell dancing Karaoke to this alone in his apartment when he is reviewing how full his life is in “Forty-Year-Old Virgin.” “You framed an AJA poster? How hard did the people at the frame store laugh?”

“I Got You” (I feel good) by the Godfather of Soul, James Brown. Again, when he goes “Whooooaaaaa” we are hardwired to boog, Sug.

"Hard to Handle" Black Crowes. The hook classic R&B Mo-Town. Try and not to gyrate when you hear it.

“You Shook Me All Night” AC/DC When a hot babe in a short skirt starts shaking it to this, well, that’s not just foreplay, that’s four, five, six, seven and “I need a cigarette and a cuddle” play.

“U Can’t Touch This” M.C. Hammer. My buddy Stewie Dawgs will never, ever, forgive me for using this. But it is a guilty pleasure jammer. And it is fun. Try and get this out of your head.

“Smooth” Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas. Cooler than a cool coolster. And, yes Stewie Dawgs, chicks dig this.

“Honky Tonk Women” I can just hear Stewie’ s sigh of relief. A great KHDAFH song. (Knock her down and, givl her)

“Gimme All Your Lovin’” ZZ Top may not know how to groom themselves but they do know how to rub some funk on it.

“Dani California” Red Hot Chili Peppers. Great drums.

“Mississippi Queen” Mountain. One of the all time great one-hit-wonders. I got a disease and the only cure is more cowbell.

“Running on Empty” J.B. OK, so this is a little too cute to end on but it works. At the end of the class we are draggin’ major tookus.