We gonna step on the Lexcelerator one time, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
How . . . hot . . .was . . . it?
Man it was hot this weekend, I was sweating like President Bush realizing he just promised to write a book.
It was so hot this weekend, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee got in a domestic fight just to feel the breeze from the things they threw at one another.
It was so hot one straight guy went in and saw the movie “Sex and the City” just for the air conditioning.
It was so hot in Los Angeles, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee got back together just for the wedding shower.
It was so hot Bill Clinton was red-faced even without a rant.
Nasty
The latest rumor is that Hillary Clinton blames Bill Clinton for her election defeat; supposedly, Hillary is so furious at Bill, to get back at him, she is going to have sex with him.
Fitting tribute
The Mars Lander has found traces of ice on an otherwise barren and stark landscape on Mars. So they decided to name it Lake Hillary.
Bummed
For the eleventh year in a row, “The View” did not win a daytime Emmy. You can tell the women on “The View” are upset. For one second it looked like Joy Bahar might even shut up.
Tickets still available
Frank Sinatra Jr. is on tour. Yeah, he is touring with Julian Lennon and Lisa Marie Presley in “That Apple Fell a Mile From The Tree” tour.
Yuck
In Wisconsin, a chef faces three years in jail for grilling the steak of a complaining customer encrusted with hanks of his body hair; or as the Sizzler calls that: the Pube-Cube steak special.
Ouch
On this date in 1993, Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s penis and threw it into a field but she never did jail time. Upon hearing this, Hillary Clinton said “You can do that?”
Since you asked:
Oh, you want to know what the Lexcelarator is, Slatties and Nuggesses? It’s a little term I’ve coined - with an assist from the Shibuyabase - to describe when I am on my stand up paddleboard and am about to catch a wave, I put my weight forward on the front foot so the board takes off down the wave. We callin’ that stepping on the Lexcelerator, buuuuhhhhh-beeeeeeee. Oh yeah. (Chortle of self-satisfied smugness)
How . . . hot . . .was . . . it?
Man it was hot this weekend, I was sweating like President Bush realizing he just promised to write a book.
It was so hot this weekend, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee got in a domestic fight just to feel the breeze from the things they threw at one another.
It was so hot one straight guy went in and saw the movie “Sex and the City” just for the air conditioning.
It was so hot in Los Angeles, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee got back together just for the wedding shower.
It was so hot Bill Clinton was red-faced even without a rant.
Nasty
The latest rumor is that Hillary Clinton blames Bill Clinton for her election defeat; supposedly, Hillary is so furious at Bill, to get back at him, she is going to have sex with him.
Fitting tribute
The Mars Lander has found traces of ice on an otherwise barren and stark landscape on Mars. So they decided to name it Lake Hillary.
Bummed
For the eleventh year in a row, “The View” did not win a daytime Emmy. You can tell the women on “The View” are upset. For one second it looked like Joy Bahar might even shut up.
Tickets still available
Frank Sinatra Jr. is on tour. Yeah, he is touring with Julian Lennon and Lisa Marie Presley in “That Apple Fell a Mile From The Tree” tour.
Yuck
In Wisconsin, a chef faces three years in jail for grilling the steak of a complaining customer encrusted with hanks of his body hair; or as the Sizzler calls that: the Pube-Cube steak special.
Ouch
On this date in 1993, Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s penis and threw it into a field but she never did jail time. Upon hearing this, Hillary Clinton said “You can do that?”
Since you asked:
Oh, you want to know what the Lexcelarator is, Slatties and Nuggesses? It’s a little term I’ve coined - with an assist from the Shibuyabase - to describe when I am on my stand up paddleboard and am about to catch a wave, I put my weight forward on the front foot so the board takes off down the wave. We callin’ that stepping on the Lexcelerator, buuuuhhhhh-beeeeeeee. Oh yeah. (Chortle of self-satisfied smugness)
posted by Alex at
12:31 PM
<< Home