Friday, June 20, 2008

I’m a bump outta this heayahh beeeeeeeyaaaaahhhtch, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Warning: These two suck

Canadian authorities have discovered another foot that has washed up on the shores of British Columbia, the fifth right foot and one left foot found this year making six feet. They have no description of the size of the culprit but I have a feeling he is probably somewhere near six feet.

Canadian authorities have discovered another foot that has washed up on the shores of British Columbia, the fifth right foot and one left foot found this year. It took authorities a long time to confiscate the foot, they had to wait for a toe truck.

Not fair

Comparing all of Boston’s recent championships to Los Angeles isn’t fair. After all, Los Angeles doesn’t even have an NFL team, just like L.A. didn’t have a team in the NBA Finals.

Title town

In the NBA finals, the Boston Celtics crushed the Los Angeles Lakers by 39 points. Boston teams are the champions in World Series, the NBA and they almost won the Super Bowl. It seems that everyone wins in Boston just so long as their name isn’t John and or Kerry.

Same thing

The New York Mets fired their coach Willy Randolph. Or as this effective baseball move is known in nautical terms: firing the concierge on the Titanic.

My mistake

President Bush plans to write a book after his presidency. I’m sorry, I must not have read that right, I think he said he means to read a book after his presidency. That must be it.

No seriously, Bush considers himself quite a good writer, or as he calls it: he is right goodly writeryified.

Youch

There was another attack by Shiites against other Shiites in Baghdad. It seems one sect of Shiites think the other sect of Shiites isn’t worth a Shiite.

Counter suit

An L.A. woman is suing Victoria Secret because she claims she hurt her eye when she put on a thong; Victoria Secret is planning to counter sue the woman for being so stupid she thought the thong was an eye patch.

Amazing

Barack’s Obama’s wife, Michelle, was on “The View” It was an impressive appearance, she actually managed to squeeze one word in sideways.

Right in there

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s approval rating in California has slipped from around 50% to 40% due to the economy, but it is still high compared to President Bush. President Bush’s approval rating is somewhere between Paris Hilton’s and salmonella’s.