We checkin’ the wreckin’ I reckon, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Not how that works
Lots of gay couples getting married in California; here is my question: when gay couples get married, do they have to hire a straight wedding planner? “Yeah, I’m Chuck, the straight wedding planner and I think your wedding should have a NASCAR /bass fishing theme.”
Fierce
Lots of gay couples getting married in California; if you want to get them wedding presents many of the gay male couples are registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond Fabulous.
Check that
Tiger Woods will have to undergo reconstructive knee surgery and will be out of the rest of the season. You have to feel sorry for Tiger, he will have to lie around on his 150 foot luxury yacht being waited on by his Swedish bikini model wife, Erin. On second thought, just go ahead and feel sorry for me instead.
Oui kid the French encore
France announced they will scale back their military. That’s like Germany announcing they are going to cut down on their stand-up comedians.
France announced they will scale back their military. In a related story, the English are going to trim their number of fine chefs, dentists and orthodontists.
France announced they will scale back their military. That is shocking, that is amazing. France has a military? Since when?
Loopy
The Los Angeles Lakers lost the NBA Championship game by 39 points to the Boston Celtics. Did you happen to catch Kevin Garnet’s post game interview with Michelle Tafoya? I don’t want to say KG sounded crazy, but even Britney Spears said; “Dang, that guy’s nuts y’all.”
Ouch
The Los Angeles Lakers lost the NBA Championship game by 39 points to the Boston Celtics. Not to put too fine a point on it, but when the Celtics were done with Kobe Bryant, they had to give Kobe’s wife a $4 mil diamond ring.
Since you asked:
Now in the 20-20 hindsight of retrospection, Tiger Woods’s performance winning the US Open at Torrey Pines in a 91-hole playoff sudden-death win was remarkable before we knew the severity of his knee injury. Now that we know Tiger played with two stress fractures and a torn A.C.L., the performance borders on heroic. The only thing missing from making the performance heroic was that Tiger didn’t actually save anyone’s life in the process.
Although way short of saving a life, the US Open win at the tough course of Torrey Pines with a badly injured knee has to rank up there with one of the all-time brave sports performances. It rates up there with Willis Reed’s limping comeback to the court; Joe Montana’s fever-addled comeback for Notre Dame; John Elway’s hobbled win in the Super Bowl over Green Bay; Michael Jordan winning an NBA title with the stomach flu, and Kurt Gibson’s limping-fist-pump- around the bases for his World Series game winning homer.
I’ll be forthcoming, at the time Tiger was grimacing and using a driver for a crutch, the cynical part of me was muttering;
“Oh, please, save me the wounded warrior routine, you just hit the ball 360. How bad could your knee be? My knee feels fine, knock on wood, and I can only hit it a golf ball 225 yards, maybe.”
Wrong, Lex. Tiger was covering up how bad his knee really was.
Americans love our sports heroes as much or more as anyone in the world; but where we take our devotion to ethereal heights is when our sports heroes perform bravely when not well*. This is where we leave many Europeans scratching their heads. I will never forget the caustic and bitter words of the otherwise long-forgotten snippy frustrated French journalist who so callously and rudely snipped about our American love affair with Lance Armstrong during the Tour De France;
“You stupid Americans only like him because he was sick.”
Let us never forget that sports is not war and we should never sully the sacrifices made in battle by comparing them with the actions of adults who are merely playing a kid’s game for pay.
And yet one doesn’t have to be in a gun battle to test courage; a snowboarder can test his courage when he makes a thirty-foot jump; a surfer can test his courage by taking off on a fifty-foot wave; a cute 9-year-old blonde girl I know tests her courage when she dives to head a soccer ball.
Having granted the obvious concession sports is not war, let’s not forget that sports can be, and, as was the case with the 2008 US Open, sports often are a great test of talent, training, skill, resolve, fortitude, character, heart and, yes, flat out courage.
At Torrey Pines, Tiger hit on all of eight of those cylinders in front of our very eyes and, I am proud to say, in our beloved San Diego’s own back yard.
* Note to Europeans who think us Americans are soulless morons for not loving European soccer players. When a player gets slightly touched and yet he writhes around on the ground like hundreds of invisible snakes are biting him, and is taken off the field still writhing on a stretcher, only to get to the sidelines and spring to his feet and run back on the field, oh, please forgive me, run back on the pitch, we Americans tend to think that player, pony tail and one name or not, is, as the British call it, a real wanker.
Not how that works
Lots of gay couples getting married in California; here is my question: when gay couples get married, do they have to hire a straight wedding planner? “Yeah, I’m Chuck, the straight wedding planner and I think your wedding should have a NASCAR /bass fishing theme.”
Fierce
Lots of gay couples getting married in California; if you want to get them wedding presents many of the gay male couples are registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond Fabulous.
Check that
Tiger Woods will have to undergo reconstructive knee surgery and will be out of the rest of the season. You have to feel sorry for Tiger, he will have to lie around on his 150 foot luxury yacht being waited on by his Swedish bikini model wife, Erin. On second thought, just go ahead and feel sorry for me instead.
Oui kid the French encore
France announced they will scale back their military. That’s like Germany announcing they are going to cut down on their stand-up comedians.
France announced they will scale back their military. In a related story, the English are going to trim their number of fine chefs, dentists and orthodontists.
France announced they will scale back their military. That is shocking, that is amazing. France has a military? Since when?
Loopy
The Los Angeles Lakers lost the NBA Championship game by 39 points to the Boston Celtics. Did you happen to catch Kevin Garnet’s post game interview with Michelle Tafoya? I don’t want to say KG sounded crazy, but even Britney Spears said; “Dang, that guy’s nuts y’all.”
Ouch
The Los Angeles Lakers lost the NBA Championship game by 39 points to the Boston Celtics. Not to put too fine a point on it, but when the Celtics were done with Kobe Bryant, they had to give Kobe’s wife a $4 mil diamond ring.
Since you asked:
Now in the 20-20 hindsight of retrospection, Tiger Woods’s performance winning the US Open at Torrey Pines in a 91-hole playoff sudden-death win was remarkable before we knew the severity of his knee injury. Now that we know Tiger played with two stress fractures and a torn A.C.L., the performance borders on heroic. The only thing missing from making the performance heroic was that Tiger didn’t actually save anyone’s life in the process.
Although way short of saving a life, the US Open win at the tough course of Torrey Pines with a badly injured knee has to rank up there with one of the all-time brave sports performances. It rates up there with Willis Reed’s limping comeback to the court; Joe Montana’s fever-addled comeback for Notre Dame; John Elway’s hobbled win in the Super Bowl over Green Bay; Michael Jordan winning an NBA title with the stomach flu, and Kurt Gibson’s limping-fist-pump- around the bases for his World Series game winning homer.
I’ll be forthcoming, at the time Tiger was grimacing and using a driver for a crutch, the cynical part of me was muttering;
“Oh, please, save me the wounded warrior routine, you just hit the ball 360. How bad could your knee be? My knee feels fine, knock on wood, and I can only hit it a golf ball 225 yards, maybe.”
Wrong, Lex. Tiger was covering up how bad his knee really was.
Americans love our sports heroes as much or more as anyone in the world; but where we take our devotion to ethereal heights is when our sports heroes perform bravely when not well*. This is where we leave many Europeans scratching their heads. I will never forget the caustic and bitter words of the otherwise long-forgotten snippy frustrated French journalist who so callously and rudely snipped about our American love affair with Lance Armstrong during the Tour De France;
“You stupid Americans only like him because he was sick.”
Let us never forget that sports is not war and we should never sully the sacrifices made in battle by comparing them with the actions of adults who are merely playing a kid’s game for pay.
And yet one doesn’t have to be in a gun battle to test courage; a snowboarder can test his courage when he makes a thirty-foot jump; a surfer can test his courage by taking off on a fifty-foot wave; a cute 9-year-old blonde girl I know tests her courage when she dives to head a soccer ball.
Having granted the obvious concession sports is not war, let’s not forget that sports can be, and, as was the case with the 2008 US Open, sports often are a great test of talent, training, skill, resolve, fortitude, character, heart and, yes, flat out courage.
At Torrey Pines, Tiger hit on all of eight of those cylinders in front of our very eyes and, I am proud to say, in our beloved San Diego’s own back yard.
* Note to Europeans who think us Americans are soulless morons for not loving European soccer players. When a player gets slightly touched and yet he writhes around on the ground like hundreds of invisible snakes are biting him, and is taken off the field still writhing on a stretcher, only to get to the sidelines and spring to his feet and run back on the field, oh, please forgive me, run back on the pitch, we Americans tend to think that player, pony tail and one name or not, is, as the British call it, a real wanker.
posted by Alex at
12:33 PM
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