Friday, August 24, 2007

We’re getting’ it done in the fun on the run, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

I’m just saying
Michael Vick has pled guilty to dog fighting and awaits his sentence. Wouldn’t it be great if Vick jumped bail and was tracked down by Dog the bounty hunter?

By cracky
According to a new study, people are having sex well into their eighties. Upon hearing this, Larry King said; “Good for those young whippersnappers.”

Saint Teresa
A book of Mother Teresa’s letters reveal new insights into the Saint of Calcutta. For example, did you know Mother Teresa was really into Fantasy Football? Yeah, her team name was The Righteous Beat-downs.

Did you know Mother Teresa was really into Blue Oyster Cult? She loved the cowbell on “Don’t Fear the Reaper.”

Did you know Mother Teresa made a fortune playing the ponies in Off Track Betting?

Did you know Mother Teresa had a cat she named Hoobastank?

Did you know that Mother Teresa had a T-Shirt that said “Skiers Suck, Snowboarders Rule”?

Did you know how Mother Teresa started every day? Two words: Count Chocula.

Did you know what Mother Teresa really loved besides helping the needy? Gin and Mountain Dew.

Hotter wife
A London study claims that a Tyrannosaurus Rex could out run Soccer star David Beckham. That may be true, but Beckham’s wife is a lot hotter than the T-Rex’s wife, Posh Rex.

How rainy is it?
It has been raining so much in New York, the New York Knick’s Stephon Marbury has declared drowning dogs a sport.

What an idiot
The New York Knick’s Stephon Marbury defended Michael Vick by declaring dog fighting a sport; What the hell does Marbury know about sports? He doesn’t even play on a real team, he plays for the freakin’ Knicks.

No way
How about those storms in Chicago? It was so windy that during the Bears pre-season training camp, one of Rex Grossman’s passes was actually blown into the hands of a receiver.

Where is the justice?
School is about to start again. Life is not fair. I used to hate when high school started, now all the kids really look forward to school. And why not? They get to have sex with their teachers.

They had to let her go
Nicole Richey was let out after just serving just 82 minutes in jail. They decided to let her out when they saw that Nicole could just walk out of her cell in between the bars.