It’s on now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
It is hot
It was so hot and muggy I was sweating like Michael Vick when he finds out his prison cellmate is nicknamed “Doggy Style.”
First couple
The first daughter, Jenna Bush, is engaged. Now, I don’t want to imply that Jenna is a partier, but, if you want to get them a wedding present, the couple is registered at Booze, Bongs and Beyond.
The first daughter, Jenna Bush, is engaged. Now, I don’t want to imply that Jenna is still pretty wild, but she reminds me of the girl who tells the Chippendale male stripper to “Come to mamma” without taking the Marlboro out of her mouth.
Recession
A CNN report reveals that Iraqi women are turning to prostitution to feed their families, some for as little as $8 dollars a day. To show you how bad it is, last month these women put 200 camels out of business.
A CNN report reveals that Iraqi women are turning to prostitution to feed their families, some for as little as $8 dollars a day. $8 dollars a day. Of course the price does go way up if you want them to keep their veil on.
Oui kid the French
A Frenchman, Anselme Cote, is building the world’s fastest moving sidewalk capable of up to seven-miles-an-hour; it started as a French military project to develop a faster way to retreat.
After a year, Italy’s Marco Materazzi admitted what he said to France’s Zinedine Zidane to cause Zidane’s World Cup final head-butt ejection. In response to Zidane’s offer of his jersey, Materazzi said; “I prefer your whore sister.” Yeah. The spat continued after the game when Zidane’s sister hit Materazzi with a huge bag of coins.
A good excuse
NFL Fantasy Football players are preparing for their draft. This is serious, for two weeks Fantasy football players will be so busy they will finally have an excuse for not having sex.
NFL Fantasy Football players are preparing for their draft and many are confused as to what to do with Michael Vick. They are not sure whether they should dump him because Vick is pure scum or whether to drop him because Vick is utter scum.
Since you asked:
There was the most amazingly horrible movie on HBO and, like somebody glaring at an awful accident, I didn’t want to watch it but I had to: “American Dreamz.” It had a really top cast and it couldn’t have been more awful. It was insulting to everyone and everything. It somehow managed to insult three things that are so vile and evil they are almost impossible to insult: Terrorists, Dick Cheney and reality TV. The makers of this festering dung stench could make a movie about dog fighting that would insult Michael Vick.
Would somebody please, please tell my why Hollywood is so fascinated with Mandy Moore? As I stated before, you could go to the Delta Gamma sorority house at U.C. Santa Barbara circa 1980 and throw a stick in the living room and hit four Mandy Moores.
This brings me to a new feature here at “a little BIT bad:”
Hot or Not? Lex can’t decide.
Mandy Moore? I think not but apparently everyone else thinks I am wrong.
Jessica Simpson? Just as soon as she starts to get hot she references how much she has gas.
Scarlett Johansson? Sorry, but the pouty annoying gawky teenager-thing from “Horse Whisperer” has never gone away.
Charlize Theron? Sorry, but the scary, crazy, psycho-bitch ugly from “Monster” didn’t all wash off.
Halle Berry. Definitely hot. And then she opens her mouth to say something annoying about her grueling craft. And who is picking her scripts? Britney Spears?
Angelina Jolie. Wow, talk about once definitely hot. And then she got all Alien-vein-covered hyper skinny and stood around holding fly ridden starving orphans all day working extra hard at making us all feel really ashamed at how little we do for the world.
Jennifer Anniston. This one hurts. I used to think she was the hottest. Cute, funny, sweet. And then, she had Halle Berry have Britney Spears pick her scripts and then she couldn’t keep from opening her mouth about how hard it is to be rich and famous.
Eva Langoria. Definitely hot. But she is about one missed cucumber finger sandwich away from making her Angelina Jolie/Posh Spice scary skinny.
It is hot
It was so hot and muggy I was sweating like Michael Vick when he finds out his prison cellmate is nicknamed “Doggy Style.”
First couple
The first daughter, Jenna Bush, is engaged. Now, I don’t want to imply that Jenna is a partier, but, if you want to get them a wedding present, the couple is registered at Booze, Bongs and Beyond.
The first daughter, Jenna Bush, is engaged. Now, I don’t want to imply that Jenna is still pretty wild, but she reminds me of the girl who tells the Chippendale male stripper to “Come to mamma” without taking the Marlboro out of her mouth.
Recession
A CNN report reveals that Iraqi women are turning to prostitution to feed their families, some for as little as $8 dollars a day. To show you how bad it is, last month these women put 200 camels out of business.
A CNN report reveals that Iraqi women are turning to prostitution to feed their families, some for as little as $8 dollars a day. $8 dollars a day. Of course the price does go way up if you want them to keep their veil on.
Oui kid the French
A Frenchman, Anselme Cote, is building the world’s fastest moving sidewalk capable of up to seven-miles-an-hour; it started as a French military project to develop a faster way to retreat.
After a year, Italy’s Marco Materazzi admitted what he said to France’s Zinedine Zidane to cause Zidane’s World Cup final head-butt ejection. In response to Zidane’s offer of his jersey, Materazzi said; “I prefer your whore sister.” Yeah. The spat continued after the game when Zidane’s sister hit Materazzi with a huge bag of coins.
A good excuse
NFL Fantasy Football players are preparing for their draft. This is serious, for two weeks Fantasy football players will be so busy they will finally have an excuse for not having sex.
NFL Fantasy Football players are preparing for their draft and many are confused as to what to do with Michael Vick. They are not sure whether they should dump him because Vick is pure scum or whether to drop him because Vick is utter scum.
Since you asked:
There was the most amazingly horrible movie on HBO and, like somebody glaring at an awful accident, I didn’t want to watch it but I had to: “American Dreamz.” It had a really top cast and it couldn’t have been more awful. It was insulting to everyone and everything. It somehow managed to insult three things that are so vile and evil they are almost impossible to insult: Terrorists, Dick Cheney and reality TV. The makers of this festering dung stench could make a movie about dog fighting that would insult Michael Vick.
Would somebody please, please tell my why Hollywood is so fascinated with Mandy Moore? As I stated before, you could go to the Delta Gamma sorority house at U.C. Santa Barbara circa 1980 and throw a stick in the living room and hit four Mandy Moores.
This brings me to a new feature here at “a little BIT bad:”
Hot or Not? Lex can’t decide.
Mandy Moore? I think not but apparently everyone else thinks I am wrong.
Jessica Simpson? Just as soon as she starts to get hot she references how much she has gas.
Scarlett Johansson? Sorry, but the pouty annoying gawky teenager-thing from “Horse Whisperer” has never gone away.
Charlize Theron? Sorry, but the scary, crazy, psycho-bitch ugly from “Monster” didn’t all wash off.
Halle Berry. Definitely hot. And then she opens her mouth to say something annoying about her grueling craft. And who is picking her scripts? Britney Spears?
Angelina Jolie. Wow, talk about once definitely hot. And then she got all Alien-vein-covered hyper skinny and stood around holding fly ridden starving orphans all day working extra hard at making us all feel really ashamed at how little we do for the world.
Jennifer Anniston. This one hurts. I used to think she was the hottest. Cute, funny, sweet. And then, she had Halle Berry have Britney Spears pick her scripts and then she couldn’t keep from opening her mouth about how hard it is to be rich and famous.
Eva Langoria. Definitely hot. But she is about one missed cucumber finger sandwich away from making her Angelina Jolie/Posh Spice scary skinny.
posted by Alex at
8:17 AM
<< Home