It is hard out here

We so gonna bring it ‘til we stingin’ it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Thank you, thank you, thank you
Paris Hilton was charged with driving without a license and she could go to jail for several months; my word, can you imagine poor Paris being abused by sadistic female prison guards? So can I, so can I. You’re welcome.  

‘Roid rage
There was a human growth hormone/steroid bust in Florida. Supposedly the lab made human growth hormone that was used by boxer Evander Holyfield, baseball player Gary Mathews Jr. and “The View” host Rosie O’Donnell.

Order now
80-year-old Hugh Hefner is going to marry his 27-year-old girlfriend. If you want to get a wedding present the couple is registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond Belief.

Badabing
A medical study reveals otters can catch herpes. And you don’t even want to know what a beaver can get.

I guess that cancer stuff can wait until they’re done with the important studies.