It is hard out here
Throw down the hoe down, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Not again
Two American astronauts set a record third space walk in nine days at the International Space Station; there say they were out making repairs but the truth is they really wanted to get away from a crazy woman astronaut who was stalking them.
Not since then
Ryan O’Neal claims he only shot at his son, Griffin, because he was being attacked by Griffin with a fireplace poker. It was the first time somebody has been attacked by a poker since Paris Hilton slapped Lindsay Lohan.
That makes sense
The court martial of a U.S. Army officer, Ehren Watada, who refused to fight in Iraq and publicly criticized the war, could end in a mistrial. In which case Watada would be released and then extradited to become an honorary French citizen.
Oh no I di . . .ent
Former NBA center John Amaechi is going to announce he is gay, the first NBA player to do so. As opposed to the New York Knicks, who are not gay, but they do suck.
You punks make me sick
64-year-old Harrison Ford is set to star in the fourth Indiana Jones movie. You can tell Indiana Jones is a little older. This one is “Indiana Jones and the Canister of Metamucil.”
Nasty
After Ryan O’Neal was arrested for shooting at his son, Griffin, it is now revealed that Griffin and Ryan O’Neal have been embroiled in a long ugly feud. How ugly? They are bringing in Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump to mediate.
A NASA astronaut, Lisa Nowak, is in jail for attempted murder and she wore an adult diaper so she wouldn’t have to stop on a 900-mile drive to get to her victim. One small step for man, one giant leap for incontinence
Safety first and apparently, last
A New York State Senator proposed that it should be illegal to cross a street listening to an iPod, a cell phone, or a Blackberry. Studies show it increases your chances of being hit by a driver who is being distracted while on their laptop, listening to their GPS device and watching a DVD.
About time
Researchers at the University of California say that a chemical in male sweat sexually arouses females. Finally, some good news for Chicago Bear quarterback Rex Grossman.
A warning sign
A NASA astronaut, Lisa Nowak, is in jail for attempted murder and she wore an adult diaper so she wouldn’t have to stop on a 900-mile drive to get to her victim. It turns out there were signs that something was wrong. Like that limerick she sent to that astronaut pilot she likes:
Roses are red
Outer space is blue
I’m schizophrenic and so am I.
Not again
Two American astronauts set a record third space walk in nine days at the International Space Station; there say they were out making repairs but the truth is they really wanted to get away from a crazy woman astronaut who was stalking them.
Not since then
Ryan O’Neal claims he only shot at his son, Griffin, because he was being attacked by Griffin with a fireplace poker. It was the first time somebody has been attacked by a poker since Paris Hilton slapped Lindsay Lohan.
That makes sense
The court martial of a U.S. Army officer, Ehren Watada, who refused to fight in Iraq and publicly criticized the war, could end in a mistrial. In which case Watada would be released and then extradited to become an honorary French citizen.
Oh no I di . . .ent
Former NBA center John Amaechi is going to announce he is gay, the first NBA player to do so. As opposed to the New York Knicks, who are not gay, but they do suck.
You punks make me sick
64-year-old Harrison Ford is set to star in the fourth Indiana Jones movie. You can tell Indiana Jones is a little older. This one is “Indiana Jones and the Canister of Metamucil.”
Nasty
After Ryan O’Neal was arrested for shooting at his son, Griffin, it is now revealed that Griffin and Ryan O’Neal have been embroiled in a long ugly feud. How ugly? They are bringing in Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump to mediate.
A NASA astronaut, Lisa Nowak, is in jail for attempted murder and she wore an adult diaper so she wouldn’t have to stop on a 900-mile drive to get to her victim. One small step for man, one giant leap for incontinence
Safety first and apparently, last
A New York State Senator proposed that it should be illegal to cross a street listening to an iPod, a cell phone, or a Blackberry. Studies show it increases your chances of being hit by a driver who is being distracted while on their laptop, listening to their GPS device and watching a DVD.
About time
Researchers at the University of California say that a chemical in male sweat sexually arouses females. Finally, some good news for Chicago Bear quarterback Rex Grossman.
A warning sign
A NASA astronaut, Lisa Nowak, is in jail for attempted murder and she wore an adult diaper so she wouldn’t have to stop on a 900-mile drive to get to her victim. It turns out there were signs that something was wrong. Like that limerick she sent to that astronaut pilot she likes:
Roses are red
Outer space is blue
I’m schizophrenic and so am I.
posted by Alex at
11:35 AM
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