It is hard out here

Stick wit it ‘til you hit it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

The name game
In New York there was a gaseous smell all around the city. You know what you call a foul smelling gas in New Jersey? New Jersey.

Just don’t do it, baby
Glidden paints now offers house paint in the colors of your favorite NFL team. Except for the Oakland Raiders’ silver and black. Those colors will only paint the bathroom.

Ouch
The government has approved an anti-obesity drug for dogs, Slentrol. It’s made by the makers of Viagra. Don’t mix up Slentrol with Viagra or your dog will throw you a bone.

Shocking
According to the New York Post, Rosie O’Donnell screamed liar at Barbara Walters in the makeup room before “The View.” That is a shock. Rosie was in the makeup room?

Bad choice
The Florida Gators beat the Ohio State Buckeyes 41-14 thanks in part to Ohio State going for it on fourth down and not making it. That has to be the worst decision since “The View” decided to broadcast in Hi Def.

Imagine that?
Paris Hilton ran out of gas in Beverly Hills. Apparently Paris’s tank was the only thing that didn’t get pumped.

Who can tell?
In trying to find tax cuts for middle income families, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was amazed to discover people owe $300 billion in back taxes. Pelosi was shocked, but due to her face lift, it was impossible to tell.

For those people
After the NFL playoffs on Sunday, viewers tuned to NBC’s new reality show where contestants try and win leading roles on Broadway’s “Grease” called “You’re the One That I Want” This is for people who “Skating with the Stars” just wasn’t gay enough.

Easy, Mel
There was a huge fire in Malibu. Mel Gibson blamed it on a post-Chanukah-smoldering Manorah.

What a deal?
Paris Hilton turned down an offer to produce life-sized Paris Hilton replica sex dolls for $50,000 each. So far $50,000, you could have had sex with a fake Paris Hilton doll, which costs about $49,900 more than it costs to have sex with the real Paris Hilton.

I love L.A.
Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice: Los Angeles” premiered on Sunday. The Apprentice is a little different in Los Angeles, instead of saying “You’re fired” Trump says; “You’re Mesquite Grilled.”


Fire bad
Home run record holder Mark McGwire was turned down by the baseball Hall of Fame; McGwire was turned down because of steroid allegations, this infuriated McGwire so much he stormed down from the castle and attacked a mob of torch carrying villagers.

It is an honor to be mentioned in these fine sites. Check out Home Fries up in this here:


http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun115047503jan11,0,5546350.story?coll=ny-viewpoints-headlines

And here:

http://halife.com/daily/laughs.html

And here:


http://www.dailyherald.com/sports/rozner.asp?id=267742

And here:


http://www.canada.com/reginaleaderpost/news/sports/story.html?id=76910969-2b5d-4d6a-8949-c397bedf9294


And here:

http://www.canada.com/saskatoonstarphoenix/news/story.html?id=412149a0-5585-4aa8-a676-09d4621b4879

Uh huh, dat's right, you can call me World. Yo, dat's how we roll, aaaahhhiiiiight?

One, punch a hole in the box

Two, stuff your junk in the box

Three, take the lid off the box, ewwwwwwww