It is hard out here
Happy Boxing Day, and watch out for that jab, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
How cold is it?
It has been cold and rainy lately. It is so cold I am shaking like Rosie O’Donnell’s anger management therapist.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
The day after Christmas in England is called boxing day. Upon hearing this, President Bush said; “And to think I didn’t know the English liked those Rocky movies.”
Not my scene
The sixth Rocky movie is out, “Rocky Balboa.” I don’t want to imply that Sylvester Stallone is running out of ideas, but I’m not sure the scene worked where Rocky tries to kidnap Pamela Anderson.
Very different
President Gerald Ford passed away at 93. Ford became President in 1973 when things were very different, conflict in the middle east caused gas prices to rise, the Rolling Stones were on tour and Sylvester Stallone was planning to launch a movie about a boxer named Rocky Balboa.
Sadly, President Gerald Ford passed away a day after singer James Brown; on the bright side, this is the first time Gerald Ford and James Brown have ever had anything in common.
It is really sad that all of these good people like President Ford and James Brown are dying, especially when you realize that their absence leaves more people around like Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.
That time of year
Traditionally, the time between Christmas and New Years is a very tough time to get anything done at work. People can't be productive and they end up doing absolutely nothing. Or as Kevin Federline calls that: a typical day.
Since you asked:
There is a rumor circulating that the reason for the huge surge in totally untalented celebrities like Paris Hilton, Brandon Davis and Kevin Federline, is because they are actually minions of Satan on a mission to destroy the moral fabric of our culture and society.
Personally, I don’t believe it.
In order for Satan to choose someone for the considerable task of turning the masses of good people into evil people, they would have to have the talent to turn good in to evil. And if there is one thing we know about Paris Hilton, Kevin Federline and Brandon Davis, it is that they have absolutely no talent. Even for evil.
It has been said that in order for evil to exist, many good people have to do nothing about stopping the publicity for Paris Hilton, Kevin Federline and Brandon Davis.
P.S. If you are like a lot of people, you are now asking "Who the hell is Brandon Davis?" Trust me, if you don't know who Brandon Davis is, that says many, many good things about you.
That goes for Kevin and Paris as well.
Remember the good old days when our idea of an untalented celebrity was Madonna? Proof that whores, ugly buildings and politicians all get respectable with age.
Here is a new feature we call:
Lex dishes inside comedy dirt
"Saturday Night Live" was enjoying quite a resurgence and this was before "My D*ck In A Box."
Even with the huge loss of Tina Fey, the current cast is talented and strong. Including the reccuring characters of "Two Assh*les" with Kristin Wiig and Jason Sudekeis.
My inside scoop says that those characters were inspired by Paris Hilton and Paris's much-Tina-Fey-maligned turn as a host. Vapid, self-absorbed, mouth-breathing morons? What's hard to believe?
How cold is it?
It has been cold and rainy lately. It is so cold I am shaking like Rosie O’Donnell’s anger management therapist.
Uh, no Sir, that’s not, oh forget it
The day after Christmas in England is called boxing day. Upon hearing this, President Bush said; “And to think I didn’t know the English liked those Rocky movies.”
Not my scene
The sixth Rocky movie is out, “Rocky Balboa.” I don’t want to imply that Sylvester Stallone is running out of ideas, but I’m not sure the scene worked where Rocky tries to kidnap Pamela Anderson.
Very different
President Gerald Ford passed away at 93. Ford became President in 1973 when things were very different, conflict in the middle east caused gas prices to rise, the Rolling Stones were on tour and Sylvester Stallone was planning to launch a movie about a boxer named Rocky Balboa.
Sadly, President Gerald Ford passed away a day after singer James Brown; on the bright side, this is the first time Gerald Ford and James Brown have ever had anything in common.
It is really sad that all of these good people like President Ford and James Brown are dying, especially when you realize that their absence leaves more people around like Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.
That time of year
Traditionally, the time between Christmas and New Years is a very tough time to get anything done at work. People can't be productive and they end up doing absolutely nothing. Or as Kevin Federline calls that: a typical day.
Since you asked:
There is a rumor circulating that the reason for the huge surge in totally untalented celebrities like Paris Hilton, Brandon Davis and Kevin Federline, is because they are actually minions of Satan on a mission to destroy the moral fabric of our culture and society.
Personally, I don’t believe it.
In order for Satan to choose someone for the considerable task of turning the masses of good people into evil people, they would have to have the talent to turn good in to evil. And if there is one thing we know about Paris Hilton, Kevin Federline and Brandon Davis, it is that they have absolutely no talent. Even for evil.
It has been said that in order for evil to exist, many good people have to do nothing about stopping the publicity for Paris Hilton, Kevin Federline and Brandon Davis.
P.S. If you are like a lot of people, you are now asking "Who the hell is Brandon Davis?" Trust me, if you don't know who Brandon Davis is, that says many, many good things about you.
That goes for Kevin and Paris as well.
Remember the good old days when our idea of an untalented celebrity was Madonna? Proof that whores, ugly buildings and politicians all get respectable with age.
Here is a new feature we call:
Lex dishes inside comedy dirt
"Saturday Night Live" was enjoying quite a resurgence and this was before "My D*ck In A Box."
Even with the huge loss of Tina Fey, the current cast is talented and strong. Including the reccuring characters of "Two Assh*les" with Kristin Wiig and Jason Sudekeis.
My inside scoop says that those characters were inspired by Paris Hilton and Paris's much-Tina-Fey-maligned turn as a host. Vapid, self-absorbed, mouth-breathing morons? What's hard to believe?
posted by Alex at
2:49 PM
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