Saturday, November 04, 2006

It is hard out here

All hail the great Borat, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

After Ted Haggert first denied he even knew the man who claims Haggert bought gay sex and drugs from him, Haggert flip flopped and said he bought the drugs, but threw the drugs away and only had a massage from the male prostitute. Even Bill Clinton was impressed with this story.

The head of one of the biggest Evangelical groups, Ted Haggert, resigned after a male prostitute claimed Haggert paid for gay sex and drugs. On the bright side, Haggert did receive a very warm hand-written letter of deep thanks from John Kerry.

The initial indications are that many of Haggert’s followers believe his latest explanation. But then a majority of those people also believe that Jesus flew to the sun on a purple unicorn.

This whole incident begs the question: What would Borat think of this Ted Haggert mess?

“In-ah my country, Kazakhstan, since reforms, we is now being wery accepting of the gay man homiesexualistics who make ah banga banga banga in da ahhh-noose ‘til it hang loose like mouth of tired dog. For being example, we no longer make them wear blue hats. Yeeeuuuus. And we no longer gather the homiesexualistics on Sunday and tie them naked to rabid goats and have entire willage make the wee wee on them. High five.”