Day make ah dah banga banga in dah ahnizzy, respek, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Rancheros

(Doesn’t a big plate of Nugget Rancheros sound good right about now?)

A load of help
In an interview in “People”, Kevin Federline said the more people hate him the more it helps him; so I when his new Rap CD is out, Kevin is going to get a great deal of help.

Not pretty
We had an ugly scene at the front door of our house last Halloween. A kid dressed up as a maid got beat up by a kid dressed up as Naomi Campbell.

So close
Nicole Richey was released from a rehab center only to re-appear in a trendy Hollywood club where she passed out. Wow, released from rehab, passed out at a club, all that was missing was a fight with Lindsay Lohan and Nicole could have won the celebrity trifecta.

Not good WS ratings is what we mean
A list of America’s safest cities listed the two World Series cities of St Louis and Detroit as the two most dangerous cities. Especially if you’re a Fox Sports executive.

No, really, they are
A list of America’s safest cities listed the two World Series cities of St Louis and Detroit as the two most dangerous cities. How dangerous are the cities of St. Louis and Detroit? Their sister cities are Baghdad and Fallujah.

So mean
Today is the 32nd anniversary of the Muhammad Ali George Foreman “Rumble in the Jungle” fight in Zaire. Now George Foreman is famous for people making burgers on his George Foreman grill, but sadly, the wildly inappropriate Muhammad Ali milk shake machine never caught on.


Since you asked:

Every now and then we - all the good people here at a.L.b.B. - like to just toss the Baby Ruth in the punch bowl, Slatolos and Rancheros. Yes, we let fly wit’ dah controversizzy, is what we do up on it up in here. OK, brace yourself, here goes:

I like hot dogs.

Now back off. Do not get mad. Hear me out.

No really, the old fashioned, all American, beef frankfurter on a bun with a bunch of gunk and good stuff is a highly underrated and tasty meal.

Sure, as I am a grilling demigod you are probably saying, so Lexmeister, you grill that puppy up, right? Wrong. No, wait, come back. Listen. The grill is still the place for the brat or the pork sausage or anything else. But the beef frankfurter should be boiled. It is the way god intended it to be cooked.

Toppings are key. You must grill the bun and make it toasty but not burned. Add chopped and grilled onions, cheddar cheese, sauerkraut – yes, I know it looks gross, but it is awesome – mustard and, yes, a little Ketchup.

Seriously, do not throw that knife, I mean it. Put it down. Good.

Now, I agree, if you put Ketchup on a Brat or a sausage, I say you deserve to simmer in the seventh circle of hell like all right-thinking Chicagoans think. But this is where the all beef frankfurter is different. It needs a little ketchup in there. A spicy brown mustard, close the bun and smoosh and Bob is your freakin’ bad-toothed Uncle. Potato chips and a cold beer.

Eat that with a game on where you viciously boo a bunch of athletes who are so much better than you ever were it is impossible to measure.

Now the chili dog is a different animal altogether. Just cheese, onions and Chili. You in a hurry? That Bush’s chili in a jar is pretty good. Sure it isn’t near as good as Lex’s five hour Lexter Dexter chili but it will suffice in a pinch as long as you put a dash of Tabasco in there.

As for the all beef dog itself, you can’t go wrong with Boar’s Brand. The casing is really snappy. Great flavor too.

Now go out there and dog it up, beeeeyatches.

Word.