It is hard out here

Check out yo booooy here agin. Last time it was New York’s Newsday and not it is local, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

http://www.signonsandiego.com/sports/20061027-9999-lz1s27galry.html

Yessir, I got this country surrounded.

If the St. Louis Cardinals beat the Detroit Tigers tonight in game five of the World Series, Detroit will get the last thing it needs: 40 more people who aren’t going to work.  



Since you asked:

So there I am on a beautiful Saturday morning , about as Fall-like as it gets around here, in front of the local bagel shop, when I see a woman about 60 and she is walking the cutest little yellow Labrador puppy.

Now everybody has a default goofy baby talk voice for dogs, mine sounds like a really drunk Bullwinkle. But I am so goofy about puppies, especially Lab puppies, that seemingly with no control from my brain, the voice gets wrenched up times ten to really stupid. And that is right what I launched into when I saw this lady’s puppy bounding at me all paws and ears:

“Whoooa, wases dats my widdle puppy wuppers? Yesseses it wasseses my widdle biddy pupper wuppers duppers.”

Feel free to puke.

So I am in full puppy snuggling, fat fuzzy tummy rubbing, muzzle nuzzling mode, when the lady says to me in a very slow and deliberate way;

“Please . . .  be . . . gentle . . .with . . . the . . .puppy. You . . . . like . . .  little . . .puppies? That . . . is…. so . . . sweeeeeeeet.”

Suddenly I get a really confused look on my face, stop petting the puppy and ask her;

“Excuse me, Lady, why are you talking to me like that?”

The lady gasped and covered her mouth in surprise and said;

“On my word, I am so sorry. I thought you were retarded.”

She probably isn’t the first and, sadly, she won’t be the last.