It is hard out here
We the playas wit’ da flayvas up in this here this here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Trump card
Donald Trump and his third wife, Melania, had a baby boy and named him Barron; good thing they didn’t pick a pretentious name. Was His Majesty already taken?
It was kind of awkward, when they handed the baby to the Donald, the baby spit up and Trump told him; “You’re fired.”
Assist with Janice Hough
It was touching, the Donald held Barron and said; “He’s so beautiful I can’t wait to pay him child support.”
The Trumps decided not to go with the name selected by a pubic poll due to its excessive length: The name selected for Trump’s kid was; “For the love of God, please stop producing, Donald.”
Personally, I thought the perfect name for Trump’s kid would be Iwbaidwr. Iwbaidwr is not a Farsi word, it is the acronym for; I wouldn’t be alive if Dad wasn’t rich.
Barron Trump. Good thing they are rich because they are going to have to send Barron Trump to the pricey “Please Don’t Kick My Ass” private school.
Plea
All charges have been dropped against Debbie Lafave, the attractive blonde 23-year-old teacher who had sex with her 14-year-old male student. The boy agreed to drop the charges if she agreed to pose naked for his upcoming book; “How I nailed my smoking hot teacher”.
Since you asked:
So I know what you want to ask me, you want to ask; “Lex, Lex, Lex, what the heck were the Dallas Cowboys thinking about in getting super psycho Terrell Owens?”
Let’s look at the past. Under the directive muzzle of Jerry Rice, Owens had more than a few very productive years in San Francisco before his mouth exploded in idiocy. In Philadelphia he had almost a year and half before his brain exploded with verbal diarrhea. To my way of thinking, T.O. has probably one good year until he ruins everything in Dallas with another psychotic rant.
Dallas has signed T.O. to a “We will pay you until you F-up” deal laden with good behavior incentives and bad behavior penalties. T.O. is temporarily lucid and he knows this is his only chance. When Owens does implode, Dallas won’t get hurt and they can ship him off without it stinging too much.
Although his ego is even bigger than his Seventies polyester stretch Sansabelt coaching pants, Bill Parcells is nothing if not a pragmatist. Is he a hard ass? If you’re a marginal oft-injured player he sure is. If you’re a super star you can get relieve yourself on the Cowboys headquarters front lawn and Parcells will personally thank you for helping to fertilize the grass.
As long as you produce.
So believe it or not, I know I said that expecting Parcells massive ego to check T.O.’s massive ego is like expecting the rickety levees in New Orleans to hold Katrina. But I think Dallas has a good year until that hurricane hits. If T.O. is around at a decent round of my Fantasy draft, I will not let him go. He could have a monster year. After that? I would rather have T.O. on my debate team than my football team.
One thing you have to admit about Terrell Owens: the guy ain’t boring. Either way it goes, Dallas is going to get a bang on their entertainment dollar.
Let’s give a nice thought to Tiger
Tiger Woods is richer and more talented and more wildly famous than all of us put together; Tiger parks his huge yacht in the backyard of his gorgeous island compound; Tiger has an eye-melting Swedish bikini model wife and Tiger has achieved all of this by merely playing the sport he loves almost more than anything. The last thing a great man like Tiger will ever need is our sympathy, right? Wrong.
As of right now, Tiger Woods is nothing more than just a deeply sad boy who is worried sick about his seriously ill Dad.
Trump card
Donald Trump and his third wife, Melania, had a baby boy and named him Barron; good thing they didn’t pick a pretentious name. Was His Majesty already taken?
It was kind of awkward, when they handed the baby to the Donald, the baby spit up and Trump told him; “You’re fired.”
Assist with Janice Hough
It was touching, the Donald held Barron and said; “He’s so beautiful I can’t wait to pay him child support.”
The Trumps decided not to go with the name selected by a pubic poll due to its excessive length: The name selected for Trump’s kid was; “For the love of God, please stop producing, Donald.”
Personally, I thought the perfect name for Trump’s kid would be Iwbaidwr. Iwbaidwr is not a Farsi word, it is the acronym for; I wouldn’t be alive if Dad wasn’t rich.
Barron Trump. Good thing they are rich because they are going to have to send Barron Trump to the pricey “Please Don’t Kick My Ass” private school.
Plea
All charges have been dropped against Debbie Lafave, the attractive blonde 23-year-old teacher who had sex with her 14-year-old male student. The boy agreed to drop the charges if she agreed to pose naked for his upcoming book; “How I nailed my smoking hot teacher”.
Since you asked:
So I know what you want to ask me, you want to ask; “Lex, Lex, Lex, what the heck were the Dallas Cowboys thinking about in getting super psycho Terrell Owens?”
Let’s look at the past. Under the directive muzzle of Jerry Rice, Owens had more than a few very productive years in San Francisco before his mouth exploded in idiocy. In Philadelphia he had almost a year and half before his brain exploded with verbal diarrhea. To my way of thinking, T.O. has probably one good year until he ruins everything in Dallas with another psychotic rant.
Dallas has signed T.O. to a “We will pay you until you F-up” deal laden with good behavior incentives and bad behavior penalties. T.O. is temporarily lucid and he knows this is his only chance. When Owens does implode, Dallas won’t get hurt and they can ship him off without it stinging too much.
Although his ego is even bigger than his Seventies polyester stretch Sansabelt coaching pants, Bill Parcells is nothing if not a pragmatist. Is he a hard ass? If you’re a marginal oft-injured player he sure is. If you’re a super star you can get relieve yourself on the Cowboys headquarters front lawn and Parcells will personally thank you for helping to fertilize the grass.
As long as you produce.
So believe it or not, I know I said that expecting Parcells massive ego to check T.O.’s massive ego is like expecting the rickety levees in New Orleans to hold Katrina. But I think Dallas has a good year until that hurricane hits. If T.O. is around at a decent round of my Fantasy draft, I will not let him go. He could have a monster year. After that? I would rather have T.O. on my debate team than my football team.
One thing you have to admit about Terrell Owens: the guy ain’t boring. Either way it goes, Dallas is going to get a bang on their entertainment dollar.
Let’s give a nice thought to Tiger
Tiger Woods is richer and more talented and more wildly famous than all of us put together; Tiger parks his huge yacht in the backyard of his gorgeous island compound; Tiger has an eye-melting Swedish bikini model wife and Tiger has achieved all of this by merely playing the sport he loves almost more than anything. The last thing a great man like Tiger will ever need is our sympathy, right? Wrong.
As of right now, Tiger Woods is nothing more than just a deeply sad boy who is worried sick about his seriously ill Dad.
posted by Alex at
6:57 AM
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