Tuesday, January 10, 2006

See now it gonna get

See now, it gonna get all kinds of robust up in the biddy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Good thing
Friends of President Bush said that Bush admitted that he has fantasized about other women but never acted on it. It’s good Bush isn’t a philanderer, because he couldn’t pronounce it if he was.

Francis Ford Coppola’s winery has come out with champagne in the can. And now “Brokeback Mountain” has come out with their merchandising drink: Cowboy in the can.

Why, I never
In London, Liberal democrat Charles Kennedy resigned saying he had a drinking problem; A liberal democrat named Kennedy with a drinking problem? Who ever heard of such a thing?

Good for them
In her book, Star Jones revealed that, before they were married, she and her husband Al Reynolds were celibate; now they have fake sex at least twice a week.

Eww, bet they are shaking over there
France and Germany have warned Iran against continuing their nuclear research; in fact, if Iran proceeds, France and Germany will have no choice but to double-dog dare Iran.  

Wow, a warning from France and Germany. About the only thing scarier than that is a mild rebuke from Switzerland.

France and Germany have warned Iran against continuing their nuclear research; maybe Germany used to warrant a decent warning, but France, come on? What’s the worst the French can do, launch a vicious snubbing?

A warning from France? That’s as scary as being challenged to a spelling bee by President Bush.

Not a good sign
Because of indicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff, I don’t want to say congress is worried about going to prison, but on Capital Hill they are showing “Brokeback Mountain” as an instructional film.

Makes sense
Donald Trump is thinking about running for governor of New York; You know what Trump’s first act would be if elected? Changing New York’s name to New Trump.

Not since then, huh?
Because of indicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff, congress is running scared, in fact, I haven’t seen congressman covering their butts this much since gay congressman Barney Frank was in the congressional locker room.

Real life, take one
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was treated for minor injuries after he was involved in a low speed motorcycle accident when a Volvo backed out of a driveway; That’s Hollywood, as the Terminator, Arnold crashed through windows, fire and brick walls on a motorcycle. In real life? “Ahh, a slow moving station wagon, noooooo!”

We kid the President
Dick Cheney was briefly hospitalized with shortness of breath; and President Bush was treated for shortness of foresight.

Stop it, you’re so fierce
The singer Pink is getting married. In fact, this is the first time a singer called Pink married a guy since, well, Elton John.

Buckeroo, eww, eww
“Brokeback Mountain” led the golden globe nominations. Still, if you ask me, the concept of a gay cowboy is pretty far fetched, I mean cowboys wear leather chaps, boots, a scarf, a hat, carry a rope and walk bow-legged. OK, maybe it’s not that far fetched.