Friday, January 26, 2018

Donald Trump is in Davos. Trump was disappointed to find out Daenerys did not live there with her dragons.

Donald Trump tried to fire FBI director, Robert Mueller in June, but all of his lawyers threatened to quit. When you offend your lawyers? It may be time to slow your roll. 

James Franco was removed from the cover of the Oscar issue of the “Vanity Fair” following his sexual harassment allegations. It is so bad for James, he is actually envious of his younger brother, Dave Franco.

Donald Trump tried to fire FBI director, Robert Mueller in June, but all of his lawyers threatened to quit. That is something when you almost scare off all lawyers. When the Titanic was going down, the lawyers were still taking depositions after the rats had left. 

“Fire and Fury,” author, Michael Wolff, is certain Donald Trump is having an affair. Man, you would think that would put Sarah Huckabee Sanders in a better mood.

“Fire and Fury,” author, Michael Wolff said he is certain Donald Trump is having an affair. The rumor is the woman’s name rhymes with Soap Licks. What? Soap Licks rhymes with Hope Hicks. 

Since you asked:

Here is this week’s sentence I never thought I would hear in my lifetime: the President of the United States used to raw-dog a porn star.

When I was at UCSB, circa 1980, there were a ton of women who were exactly like Hope Hicks. Motivated, smart and ambitious pretty girls who were more than willing to parlay their considerable attractiveness for a better grade, a job or a teaching assistant spot. 

Hope Hicks is just them on crack and steroids. Hope Hicks is sexual harassment in reverse. 

Don’t know how I got such a good source, but I have an impeccable source on Twitter who has been 100% in calling White House communication chaos like Melissa McCarthy’s, I mean Sean Spicer’s firing, Scaramucci’s hiring and firing, and now he is saying Hope Hicks is the new Monica and I don’t mean from “Friends.” 

Speaking of Monica, Wolff said he did not disclose the name of the woman because he was missing the blue dress evidence. Evidence I assume is out there given what we now know of Trump’s proclivity to go raw-dog, sans glove, no raincoat. 

If you use your imagination to change clouds into mountains, you can visit the Rockies all the time.

Last night, from 11:30 PM to 1:30 AM, we were without power. While it is true that it is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness, cursing the darkness feels pretty damn good. 

Donald Trump had an affair with a porn star, Stormy Daniels, whose first name is a weather term and last name is an American whiskey. This might explain Trump's nickname for Kellyanne Conway: Muggy Turkey.

Rumor has it Donald Trump is having an affair. My sources say the woman’s name rhymes with:

Pope Flicks
Slope Tricks
Scope Nicks
Elope Nix
Boat Kicks
Trope Knicks
Rope Ticks
Grope Licks