Monday, December 25, 2017

Southern California was treated to a Friday night light show from a satellite launched near Santa Barbara. “Beautiful,” said Olivia Munn. “Impressive,” said Steve Martin. “Oh, good, you guys see that too,” said Snoop Dog.

Donald Trump tweeted out praise for a student group a day after their director sent a racist tweet. If only the president of the United States had access to resources that can prevent something like this. 

An incredibly creepy asteroid that looks just like a human skull will come close to earth next year. NASA scientists are calling it the Keith Richards Effect. 

Papa John founder, John Schnatter, is stepping down following his remarks blaming NFL anthem protests for sagging sales. Maybe Papa John should have blamed bad sales on a pizza that tastes strikingly similar to the box it comes in.

The NFL has scolded referees not to use an index card to measure first downs like during the Raiders-Cowboys game. Because, when it comes to measuring first downs, the NFL insists on using only precision tools: two sticks and a chain.