It turns out the only actresses Harvey Weinstein did not harass were “The Golden Girls.”

Actually, the only two actresses Harvey Weinstein did not accost were AT&T's Lily and Flo the Progressive Insurance lady. What? Oh. He accosted Lily. Just not Flo. 

Somewhere in Hollywood, an actress is seeing her therapist for low self-esteem because Harvey Weinstein did not harass her.

Harvey Weinstein flew a private jet to Europe to undergo sex addiction therapy. What I wouldn’t give to be Harvey Weinstein’s sex addiction therapist:

“Now that you’re fired from the studio, can you hire actresses anymore? No? Can you see your reflection in this mirror? Congratulations, you are cured of sex addiction. That will be $25,000.” 



Is anyone shocked by these allegations at Harvey Weinstein? The guy looks like the night clerk at the 24-hour porn shop wiping the mustard from his hot dog on his greasy off-white, ribbed tank top.