We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries, we got to move these refrigerators, we got to move these color TV’s, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers






A black man received a penis transplant from a white donor. “No, this works out great for both of us,” said Caitlyn Jenner. 

Mice have been born on the International Space Station using freeze-dried sperm. Finally, our long mouse-shortage nightmare appears to be over.


While visiting the Sistine Chapel in Rome, Donald Trump got Melania Trump to hold his hand. It is early, but catholic officials are applying for it to be deemed a miracle. 

A Florida man was cleared of murder after his claim his girlfriend died of choking during oral sex, and he presented his large penis as evidence. The jury issued a not-guilty verdict and three proposals for marriage.

In South Africa, a black man received a penis transplant from a white donor. Asked to comment, the black guy said, “Hurray. Eww wee. Color me giddy. Rah, rah.” 

A black man received a successful penis transplant from a white donor. You know what you call a white guy getting a successful penis transplant from a black guy? The penis lottery.


Montana Senate candidate, Greg Gianforte, body slammed a “Guardian” reporter to the ground. Things are different in Montana. That reporter is lucky Gianforte did not brand him and make him a Montana Prom date.


A Florida man was cleared of murder after his claim his girlfriend died of choking during oral sex, and he presented his large penis as evidence. Score another win for the Florida Penal Code. 



A Florida man was cleared of murder after he claims his girlfriend choked during oral sex. His penis was so big he could not wear a condom. So, if the glove did not fit, they had to acquit.



Montana Senate candidate, Greg Gianforte, body slammed a “Guardian” reporter to the ground. Seriously who does Gianforte think he is? United Airlines? 




Since you asked:


There are two things that separate the men from the boy rock stars: 1, an unplugged session, and B, a documentary. And, trois, consistency and lack of pretension.  

Clapton does an unplugged and everyone else wanted to do it. What did we learn? There is only one Eric Clapton. 

Forget which 80’s hair band tried to jump on the unplugged wagon. Poison. Or Rat. Or Rat Poison. Or White Snake. Or the White Snake That Ate Rat Poison. 

Whoever it was, they sucked unplugged.

Saw an “E” documentary on Ted Nugent. At the time I knew I liked a few of his songs and he had said some controversial things, and I knew he liked to hunt. 

After seeing the documentary on Ted Nugent? I hated him. Despised him. He is a world class dick. Not just because he likes to slaughter innocent animals. He screws over everyone he comes in contact with. Oh. And he likes to rape underage girls as his song “Jailbait” attests. Ted Nugent is vile scum. He can’t sing. And he isn’t a good guitarist. He sucks. 

Now I knew I liked David Bowie. Not a huge fan. Liked his hits like everyone else. But real Bowie fans go way beyond and scared me a little. While I will admit it now, Bowie was too weird for me. 

Boy was I wrong. 

After the documentary? Bowie was probably the single most talented man to be a rock star. Maybe him and Prince and Michael Jackson in a three-way tie.

Actor. Dancer. Fashion maven. Singer. Writer. Maybe the best performer ever. Musician. (Underrated on piano, guitar and saxophone) And then he was a mind-blowing producer. Promoter. Stylist. 

It quite possible that I believe David Bowie was too talented not to be an alien. And he has not died, he has gone back home. 

And on top of all that, David Bowie was unfailingly sweet, amazingly thoughtful and wonderful to everyone he came in contact, no matter how big or small. 

Here. I’ll go ahead and say it. David Bowie was the anti-Ted Nugent.