Monday, May 22, 2017

Get your hot takes and your species-elevating insights here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


A large sinkhole has developed in front of Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate. An emergency repair crew arrived as well as the Department of Sardonic Metaphors.


Critics have been brutal about Ivanka Trump’s book, “Women Who Work.” Ivanka should have gone with the other title idea: “How to Hit A Home Run After Being Born on Third Base.” 



The Ringling Brothers Circus held its last show in New York closing after 146 years. Now the title of “The Greatest Show on Earth” goes to United Airlines. 


In Israel, Donald Trump visited the Wailing Wall. Awkward moment when Ed. Sec., Betsy DeVos asked, “Where are all the whales?” 


Did you see Melania swatting away Donald Trump’s hand before flying off in Air Force One? If you look closely, you can actually see the orange hand make-up puff up. 


Did you see Melania swatting away Donald Trump’s hand? Wait. I thought if you were famous women let you grab them?


Did you see Melania swatting away Donald Trump’s hand? Apparently Melania was still angry about being taken to the Wailing Wall and finding out there were no whales.


The Ringling Brothers Circus held its last show in New York closing after 146 years. The guy who cleaned up after the elephants will now work as an assistant to Kellyanne Conway.


Did you see Melania swatting away Donald Trump’s hand? You have to give it to Melania. With the size of Trump’s tiny hand, that was one accurate swat.


In Israel, Donald Trump visited the Wailing Wall. Or as Trump calls it, the Wailing “You call this a wall?” 


“CBS Sports” ranked the Chargers’ off-season as the worst in the league. Not only that, but the Chargers are not sure of their name. They may go the inclusive route of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and go The Los Angeles Chargers of Carson With Torrance Adjacent. 



A sinkhole has developed in front of Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate. Asked to comment, a Trump executive said, “Yeah, it’s a sinkhole. Not a grave for anyone, especially not James Comey. It’s a sinkhole.” 




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