Thursday, May 18, 2017

Here is my Wally Dawg. Note the long eyelashes and the "Yes, can I help you?" look.

Otis and the Stanky Leg want to announce their presence with authority, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

In Australia, the cat, Omar, is going for the record of World’s longest cat at four feet. That cat is so long, it would take Trump both hands to grab that pussy.

The Cincinnati airport is using mini-horses to comfort stressed travelers. However the stress level of the Cincinnati airport cleaning crew has gone way up. 

The Cincinnati airport is using mini-horses to comfort stressed travelers. This was way better than the Feeding Hungry Ferrets idea. 

Last month, Kenny-G played saxophone on a Delta flight. That’s great. But I won’t be impressed until a sax player can pull a Jimi Hendrix and play behind his back.

It is being reported “Fox News’” Kimberly Guilfoyle will replace Sean Spicer as White House Press Secretary. They just have to wait to see whether “Saturday Night Live” will use Cicely Strong or Melissa Villasenor to player her. 

Sadly, Amy Schumer has broken up with her boyfriend. Turns out Amy just stole the idea of breaking up from Chelsea Handler.

On “CBS This Morning” Tom Brady’s wife, Giselle, said Tom has had concussions all the time. Asked to comment, Brady said, “I like waffles.” 

A White House official said Tuesday was the worst day so far. So since they had a day where Trump had to fire the FBI head to keep him from investigating the video of Russian prostitutes peeing on him, I am guessing Tuesday was a gang rape by escaped Turkish prisoners? 

Roger Ailes, the “Fox News” head forced to resign due to countless sexual harassment charges, died at 77. We’re not sure of the Viagra overdose rumors, but they are having a hard time closing the coffin lid.

(Sorry if, once again, I did not have any species-elevating incites today. Hope my takes are hot enough) 

Since you asked:

Rest in Peace Soulful Knight

In what now seems like a long time ago, I was standing in a side wing of the Hard Rock Casino lobby in Las Vegas looking at a display/shrine to Soundgarden. With slot machines dinging in the near distance, inside the case they had a poster promoting a concert and they may have had one of Chris Cornell’s shirts, I don’t remember. 

Do remember looking at Cornell with his wavy long brown hair, steely blue-green eyes and handsome, lean medieval knight penetrating stare and thinking something like, well, it just does not get any cooler than that. How great would it be to be this guy?

If you ever needed proof, here is the perfect example: you just do not know what private wars people are fighting.