Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Is it just me, or does Sean Spicer seem like the high school wrestling coach in over his head substituting for the AP Political Science class?

Ex-NFL player, Titus Young was sentenced to four years in prison for assault. The worst part? They’re flying him to his prison on United Airlines. 

After a United flight from Chicago to Louisville was overbooked, a man was dragged off the plane by security and his lip bloodied.  Said Spirit Airlines, “You stay in your lane, girl.”

There is a movement to build the first vagina museum. And no, they are not going to build the vagina museum in the town of Beaver, Utah.

Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley resigned after he used state money to cover up his affair. Anthony Weiner should run for Alabama Gov. He doesn’t cover up anything.

There is a movement to build the first Vagina museum. This sounds like a project the Trump administration might want to grab. 

After a United flight from Chicago to Louisville was overbooked, a man was dragged off the plane by police. In addition he was charged a $200 Manually Assisted Deplaning Fee. 

But after he got off the plane, Kendell Jenner offered him a Pepsi, so he’s fine.

In Caitlyn Jenner’s memoirs, “Secrets of My Life,” she reveals she had a sex changer operation. It’s bad, but all I can think about is what Jenner’s Bruce would go for on eBay.

Former NFL player, Titus Young, has been sentenced to four years in prison. It could be worse, he could be going to the Cleveland Browns.

There is an online movement to build the first Vagina museum. There is a penis museum in Iceland, but the place is a little stiff. The people are a little cocky. 

“TMZ” reports the man kicked off the United flight was a doctor who had his license revoked for selling drugs for sex. Sorry, United. Unless the guy was an assassin for Kim Jong Un, you’re not off the hook.

Since you asked:

Missed in all the United stupidity was the fact that it is a five hour drive from Chicago to Louisville if United had to get their personnel there. P.S. It is unbelievably gorgeous in Louisville this time of year. Fragrant and blossoming. 

Me? I am taking $800 and a hotel room so fast it is going to make your head spin. 

Let’s be candid. 90% of security cops - like the ones who dragged the guy off of the United flight - are total macho jerks. 

Where the hell has Kellyanne Conway gone? Kinda miss that rabid lap dog. 

It cannot be possible that I am the only person sick to death of trying to click on to a news story online and getting lost in six commercials?

Here is a good, quick rule. Can everybody stop comparing everything you don’t like to Hitler? “McDonalds did not fill my coffee all the way up. That is so Hitler.”

“Homeland” has gotten good. And I would miss the guy who plays Peter Quinn if I did not read an interview about what a dick he was. 

It never entered my mind that the banner raising at Wrigley Field would be so great, but it was. Love them or hate them politically, the Ricketts ownership of the Cubs has been tremendous for Chicago. 

In his memoirs, “The Secrets of My Life,” Caitlyn Jenner said OJ Simpson was “The most narcissistic, egocentric, neediest a--hole in the world of sports I had ever seen, and I had seen a lot of them.” Yeah, Bruce was one of them. And he was one of OJ’s friends. 

As with many things in life, it often comes down to 90%-10%. 90% of people are great. The 10% who are awful are so awful they ruin everything for everyone else. What is challenging is believing in the good 90% while guarding yourself against the bad 10%. It is hard to do both.

Spirit Airlines opened the can of worms that is making a profit by offering cheap flights and then trying to screw passengers as much as possible. United is just following up. It has created an permanent adversarial relationship between passengers and airline. 

Let's be blunt. The incident on the United flight was a serious case of dickhead-on-dickhead crime.